


a petition to remove ex from the alphabet

by merines



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: ALSO i want to apologize bc for the majority of this louis is gonna come off as really really mean, Alternate Universe - High School, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Flashbacks, M/M, also this has middle school flashbacks, but none of the sexual stuff is in those parts, oh there's also side zerrie and side sophiam, stares into the distance as i write stuff that isn't jercy, there is a reason tho ok don't be upset, you don't see much of it though so i didn't put them in the relationships section
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-31
Updated: 2014-12-15
Packaged: 2018-02-23 09:45:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 23,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2543105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merines/pseuds/merines
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four years after Louis unceremoniously ditched Harry, he asks him to be his (fake) boyfriend. Harry has no idea what's going on, but goddamn, he will get the answers he deserves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the deal

**Author's Note:**

> hello everyone!! anyway, this fic was born because i wanted to write something where they are in an american high school because i cannot be bothered to even pretend to know how the british school system works. this is also loosely based on the book _my best friend, maybe_ which is cute and has lesbians, so. check it out.
> 
> as always, i don't have a beta so there are probably some mistakes here and there. also, i don't really follow a posting schedule so i can't promise when the next chapter will be up, but it'll be soonish. thanks for reading!

The first bell of the new school year hasn't even rung yet and Harry is hiding in a bathroom stall.

It's not like he's extremely unpopular to the point where he has to eat his lunches with his history teacher or anything. It's the opposite, really. He's not the top of the food chain known as Hunter High School, but Harry has a decent amount of friends to ensure that he won't ever be alone on a Friday night unless he wants to be. So, on the surface level, there really isn't any reason for him to be holed up on top of the only toilet that doesn't have a penis sharpied on it. But there he is, while his best friend since high school began stands on the other side, knocking loudly on the wooden door that separates them.

"Harry," Niall groans, banging so loudly that people walking outside the bathroom keep poking their heads inside to see what the noise is about. Harry wishes he would stop; the last thing he wants right now is attention, but he also knows that the only way the blond will cease is if he comes out. And Harry is not coming out (there's a joke in there, somewhere, but it's way too easy and he is above that).

"He's gone by now," Niall continues, his voice echoing a little too much. "For fuck's sake, Harry. You can't do this every time you see him."

That's an exaggeration. Harry does  _not_ run away every single time he sees Louis Tomlinson. In fact, last year he practically perfected the act of ignoring the older teen. He should have been awarded an Emmy for that, even. But then summer break happened, and that was three whole months without seeing Louis even once and who could blame him if his defenses were lowered? And he hadn't been expecting to see him the moment he stepped inside the school. So, sue him, Harry panicked and ran into the closest bathroom until he could gather himself again. 

"Maybe I just needed to pee," Harry whines, knowing that he isn't convincing anyone. They have both been in here for like ten minutes, and Niall knows him well enough to be able to spot when Harry is freaking out. That's one of the things Harry loves about having a best friend, the fact that they just know when something is bothering the other. The problem with having Niall specifically as a best friend, however, is that after a while he gets impatient and just wants to hurry the feelings up, while Harry is the type who likes to mope for at least a day and a half before moving on. So, their methods of dealing with things clashes a lot. Like it is right now.

"Bullshit," he replies, and he actually sticks his head under the door. And, much to Harry's horror, the rest of his body follows along until both of them are in the cramped stall. Once he's inside, Niall leans against the door, his arms folded in front of him that would make him a perfect extra in  _Grease._ "Come on, you can't stay here. I'm pretty sure this is the bathroom where Jake and his girlfriend fuck in the morning. I don't want to be in here for that."

That is actually a convincing argument; Harry has walked in on the baseball player and his cheerleader girlfriend during one of their more energetic sessions, and he had never looked at sports the same way again after that. But he still hasn't really composed himself, and even though he doesn't think Louis is still out there by now, he doesn't want to risk it if he isn't ready to see him. It's embarrassing how much he still cares after four years. He thought he was over it, he really did, but every time Harry believes he's ready to move on he gets bulldozed by the very presence of Louis Tomlinson.

He takes a deep breath. The blond is right, of course, he can't stay in here all day. They only have a few more minutes before first period starts and the teacher he has is infamous for not tolerating tardies. He picks up his bag from its spot on the floor (which is an unsanitary spot for it, but he forgot how disgusting bathrooms are in his haste to escape). Niall nods, patting his friend on the back before opening the stall door and smacking someone right in the face.

"Fuck," the three of them say in unison as Niall and Harry scramble out of the cramped space. Harry has a dozen apologies on his tongue, and he's really hoping he didn't accidentally break the basketball coach's nose (again) but none of that matters when he sees who it is. It's Louis, of course. Behind him is Zayn Malik, whose lips are curled up into the tiniest smile in the world, like he's trying very hard not to think the situation is funny while failing at it. Louis looks far less amused, clutching at his face and swearing loudly. He quiets instantly once he sees Harry though.

"Seriously?" he says incredulously, lowering his arm. "Why are you in the bathroom together? Need someone to hold your dick for you when you piss, Harold?"

Harry almost points out that he and Zayn are there together as well, but then he realizes that they are probably not going into the same stall. So he shuts his mouth tightly and, without looking to see if Niall is following him, he rushes out into the hallway. There are hurried footsteps behind him and for a split second he thinks they belong to Louis, but it's Niall who calls out to him.

"Slow down," he says. Once they're a good distance away from the bathroom, he kicks at a locker and startles two tiny freshmen girls. "God. What a fucking asshole. I can't believe you used to be friends with him."

The thing is, Niall doesn't truly understand the enormity of the situation. He moved to their town duringt freshman year, after everything had happened. He knows that Harry and Louis were best friends since they were in the first and second grades respectively. He knows that they are no longer best friends, for reasons that are completely unknown to Harry, and that Louis now alternates between ignoring his existence to being really aggressive whenever he does acknowledge him. What he doesn't know is how completely Louis shattered Harry's life by cutting him out of his.

* * *

It's the end of Harry's seventh grade year. He's excited to start summer, to ride his bike to the mall and buy cheap tacos with the small amount of money he has from his allowance. But mostly, he's excited to have Louis to himself. It sucks to have a best friend who's a year older than you are. While they can see each other all the time after classes end, the school day is torturous. He doesn't have too many friends aside from Liam and Louis, and both of them aren't in his grade so it's basically like he has no friends while he's stuck at Hunter Middle School. He has people he can politely chat to throughout the day, but he doesn't feel comfortable enough to sit with them at lunch. To them, Harry is that smart and kinda nice kid who's around, but he's weird so it's best not to associate too much with him or else you'd be weird too. The logic of middle school makes no sense, really, but it's a logic the students cling to anyway.

So that's why he's practically wiggling in his seat while his last period teacher wishes them all a good break. He can hear his classmates making their summer plans with each other all around him, and he doesn't even care that no one is including him. Because once that bell rings, he can run to the people who actually appreciate him. To the people who know that he's more than just smart or nice or weird, who he can just be himself without worrying about whether or not he said something uncool or dumb. The time between now and the end of the term stretches on like an eternity, and he feels like he's aged twelve years by the time the final bell rings and all the students bolt from their seats. Harry gathers all of his things and follows the others, his impatience weighing down on him. He's supposed to meet the other two near the bike rack by the bus drop off, which is on the other side of the school because whoever does the scheduling specifically wanted to make Harry's life difficult. He knows that they won't leave without him, but Louis hates waiting.

When he gets there, it takes him a few minutes to spot Louis, but he finds him in the midst of a crowd. Unlike Harry, Louis has a lot of friends because he's _funny_. When they were little and tucked underneath Harry's blankets back in elementary school, Louis had made the decision to become the class clown because everyone loves humor. And he did, and he was right, because everyone gravitates to him. It's even worse than usual today, probably because this is his last day of middle school. He's going to be a high schooler in the fall, he and Liam, and Harry should be more worried about that but he's not looking that far in the future. All that matters right now is their current after school plans that will start the moment he gets his best friend away from everyone else.

He slides next to Liam. Liam became their friend when Louis started middle school, and Harry had been jealous of him at first. Louis would constantly talk about him, and Harry was terrified that some unknown person was stealing Louis away from him and there was nothing he could do about it because he was still stuck in elementary. But then Louis introduced the two by inviting them both to his house one weekend, and Harry instantly liked him. The thing about Louis is that he's a horrible student; he procrastinates on everything and can barely stay awake through his classes. And when they were in the same school, Harry could at least keep somewhat of an eye on him to make sure he did alright. He couldn't anymore, though, but Liam could—he is as good of a student as Harry is, except he actually seems to  _enjoy_ the work while Harry only did it to make his mom happy. Even more, he never treated Harry like some dumb fifth grader and he understood that Harry and Louis were HarryandLouis. 

"I can't believe this is it," Liam mutters. "I'm gonna be a high schooler."

Harry doesn't understand how that feels yet, but he nods anyway. "You sound like you're moving across the country. The high school is just a block away, dude."

"Yeah," he says, laughing and running a hand through his bangs. "But there's going to be so much more people."

That's true. Their town isn't that big, really, which isn't really an issue because there's another one that's close by and has everything they need. But they have two middle schools here, one public and the other private, but only one high school because the second one got severely damaged in a fire two years back (to the joy of the students going there). So until they finish the renovations, the choices are either Hunter High or to go to the next town for school. Unsurprisingly, classrooms are sort of crowded.

"You'll be fine." Harry means it. He knows that his two friends will have no issue with finding their places in their new environment. Liam isn't as outgoing as Louis, but as long as he sticks with him he won't have problems meeting people. Harry is the one who should be worried, honestly, but he refuses to be. He barely saw them when they did go to the same school because their schedules were so different, so he figures that it won't really matter if they go to different ones. They'll be together after school. that's what matters. They'll be together during the summer.

Louis is laughing at something that someone said when he spots Harry. His face lights up almost instantly, and there's an odd sensation in Harry's stomach at the thought that he made Louis look like that. He exchanges a few more words with the group before making his way to the two with a bounce to his step that would look ridiculous if anyone else did it, but just endearing when it's Louis. The crowd loses its energy once he's gone, and then it slowly dissipates while everyone goes to find other people to talk to. The older boy just has that effect on people; he holds them together, and when he leaves the world just gets a little less interesting. And yeah, Harry is biased, but he actually sees it happen with other people, so he knows it's true.

"Harold," Louis puts his hands on his hips, frowning. "Late again, I see."

"How do you even know when I got here?" Harry counters, mirroring his stance. It looks slightly more ridiculous when he does it, but he doesn't care. "You just noticed I was here."

"A man knows these things," he says seriously, but then his face splits with a wide grin and he wraps his arms around Harry's and Liam's shoulders. "My boys! For a glorious three months, we are free from the horrors that is the educational system of America. Let us rejoice with tacos."

They nod in agreement and get their bikes. Liam and Louis say goodbye to a few other people and Harry just stands next to them, awkwardly nodding his head at anyone who waves at him. And then they're off, riding out of the gate and down the street to their favorite hangout spot. It's a small Mexican place that isn't run by actual Mexicans, and that makes Harry sad for some reason and he's not sure why. When he pointed it out to Louis, he just brushed it off because that's just how businesses are. He had said it with pursed lips and furrowed eyebrows, though, so Harry knew it bothered him too. The tacos aren't that good either, but they're affordable, which is all that matters to teenagers without jobs.

Louis rides like he lives, carelessly and without any regard to who he might run over in the process (although Harry knows that isn't entirely true, that Louis does care deeply, but he just doesn't like to show it). He reaches their destination before Harry and Liam do, as they try their best to obey the traffic laws. When they get off their bikes, Louis is already harassing the poor part timer at the outside counter. His name is Gillian, which Louis always gives him shit for, and he goes to the private middle school on the other side of town. Harry isn't sure if the guy is even old enough to be able to hold a job, but he doesn't think this restaurant pays too much attention to child labor laws; it's just that sketchy. Gillian and Louis hate each other, and Harry thinks that half of the reason his friend loves to come here is just to mock the poor guy. His red hair is sticking up in some places, which is what Louis is going on about when the other two boys reach him.

"Don't they have hairbrushes in private school?" he says, his elbows settled on top of the dirty counter. "I'm pretty sure you're violating dress code."

"Classes ended last week for us," the redhead replies."And I don't even go to that school anymore, dumbass. I'm going St. Thomas next year."

The very expensive private school in the next town over. Harry wonders why this guy even has a part time job if he's rich, although he could be going on scholarship. They don't really have the type of relationship where it would be polite to ask though, so he just keeps his mouth shut and watches them go at it. Liam sighs and checks his watch as if he actually has somewhere to be (he doesn't).

"Great, that means I don't have to see your face," Louis smiles brightly at him. "We'll have our usual."

It's a wonder that Gillian never spits in their food. He probably would, actually, if it weren't for the fact that they can see him prepare it. After receiving and paying for their subpar tacos, the three of them head over to a set of rusting tables that rest in front of the tiny parking lot. Louis ignores the seats and sits right on the table and hands out the food. They eat in silence for a few minutes, and it isn't until Louis is licking the grease off his fingers that he speaks.

"Men," he begins. "What are our plans for this summer?"

Their plans are usually the same, more or less. Louis' family doesn't have much money, so he never leaves the town. Liam goes to visit family in England for a month every year, though, so he'll be gone for the entirety of July. During the time when they're all together though, they just mess around all day until they get yelled at and are forced to go home because although they think they are on the top of the food chain, they are still sad little middle schoolers with curfews. It's depressing. Liam confirms his trip, like always, and Louis nods his head. His eyes shine a little less brightly then, and Harry knows that he's jealous; he's never even left the state, much less gone to another country, so he doesn't always take Liam's absence very well. But this time Harry has a surprise. He already told Liam about it that morning, and he's been waiting all day to let Louis know.

"I'm going to California in July," Harry says in what he hopes is a casual tone. "Family trip."

Louis actually deflates at the news. "Oh... That's gonna be fun."

"Yeah," he continues, trying hard to fight the smile that's beginning to form. "She said I can invite you two to come with us, if you want. I know that Liam can't, but Lou, if you want..."

Just like that, it's as if Harry had offered Louis all the gold in the world. He lets out what can only be described as a shriek (he denies it later), leaping to his feet so that he's standing on the long bench. Gillian yells at him to get off, but Louis ignores him because he's only looking at Harry. And that's sort of like their default settings, really, because at the end of the day they only have eyes for each other because it's their world and they only occasionally let other people in it.

"Yes," Louis giggles, actually  _giggles,_ "I'd love to go with you."

Years later, Harry wonders if inviting him was the worst mistake of his life.

* * *

Harry's first day as a junior is going pretty well until he gets to third period. First of all, it's gym and Harry isn't very athletic. He may be the antithesis of it, actually, with how badly he's coordinated; it's a miracle he can even walk. So when he walks into the gymnasium he's already dreading it all, but that turns into utter panic when he sees Liam Payne standing under one of the basketball hoops.

The thing about Liam is that he didn't ditch him when Louis did. In fact, he had decided to remain neutral in the whole affair and continued to be both of their friends. Harry is positive that he would have never left his bed again after the worst day of his life happened if it wasn't for Liam's presence during that time. But then, shortly after Harry's first year of high school began, Liam was gone. It almost shocked Harry as much as Louis leaving him did—even though Liam was Louis' friend first, Harry  _knew_ that he liked both of them equally. So, it didn't make any sense that Liam suddenly went against his Switzerland stance. Except for Louis. Louis somehow convinced Liam to stop being Harry's friend. And it kills Harry, not knowing what he did that was so awful it ended two friendships that meant the world to him. Thankfully, about three weeks later is when Niall transferred, so Harry wasn't _completely_ miserable for too long.

Luckily, Harry immediately spots a group of people he's friends with and instantly rushes to their side. He's positive that Liam is watching him tread across the court, and he does his best not to look in his direction. At times, dealing with Liam is worse than Louis. With Louis, Harry at least knows what kind of reaction he's going to get when they see each other. Liam, though, is another story. He just always looks sad, like he regrets what happened to them, but that's just confusing. If he misses their friendship, why did he end it? Why won't he try to rekindle it again? Harry has tried to, multiple times, but that door always gets shut in his face. It's frustrating not knowing the reason that all of this started.

When the teacher, Coach Johnson (who is not the coach that now hates Harry's guts), finally arrives, all the students herd onto the bleachers to take their seats. Harry sits a few levels above Liam's so that he can, admittedly, spy on the guy. Harry rarely sees him without Louis, Zayn, or his new girlfriend (who he doesn't know the name of) at his side so he wonders if this can be an opportunity. He gave up on trying to reconcile with Liam in his sophomore year after a rather embarrassing ordeal at a party (don't ask), but it wouldn't hurt to try again. And maybe if he can properly talk with him without fearing Louis' sudden arrival to ruin everything, he can finally figure out what happened all those years ago.

Niall once theorized that the reason Harry is so stuck on this is because he doesn't know what actually occurred. So maybe if he gets some sort of closure, he can move on with his life and stop being so obsessed with Louis Tomlinson. Harry half agrees with him. He does think that learning the truth will help him, but something tells him that even if he does get past all of this, a part of him will always belong to Louis. Which is incredibly sappy and possibly a little creepy, but. It's the truth.

He's so focused on figuring out a plan to corner Liam that he doesn't notice when class is over. It's only when his friend Evelyn is shaking his arm that he snaps out of his thoughts and stands with the rest of them. He then promptly trips over his own feet because Liam is looking straight at him. Harry quickly glances behind him in case he's mistaken, but no, everyone else is already climbing down the stairs. Liam is actually, unsubtly, acknowledging his existence in a way that implies he is waiting for him. Harry tells Evelyn and the others to go on ahead of him and waits. Sure enough, Liam hasn't moved either. They're just looking at each other, Liam with his annoyingly sad eyes and Harry with his heart in this throat. The gym is almost empty now, and Harry only thinks to move when Coach Johnson yells at them to hurry up. The spell breaks, and Liam turns.

"Wait," Harry calls out, hurrying down the steps. "Liam, hold on."

The older teen pauses, his shoulders tense. He might be regretting his actions, but he still waits for Harry to reach him. "Yes?"

"We have a class together," he says, somewhat lamely. All the confidence he had has dwindled by now, and he kind of wishes he ran out the door the moment the bell rang. "First time that happened."

"I guess." Liam is frowning now, and casts a glance over at the exit. "Uh. I should go, I'm meeting Sophia..."

Sophia. That's his girlfriend's name. It shouldn't make Harry so happy to be given that small bit of his ex-friend's life, but it does. Still, Liam is clearly uncomfortable and is ready to make a quick escape. "Right, yeah. See you."

Harry walks as fast as he can out of there. It's only once he's in the hallway, surrounded by the current of students, that he gets annoyed. Liam is the one who looked at him first, so why did he act as if Harry did something wrong? Why is everything always his fault? The more he thinks about it, the more aggravated he becomes by the situation. By the time he reaches his locker, he's practically livid. Niall unwisely chooses that moment to make an appearance.

"What the fuck is wrong with everyone?" Harry huffs, shutting his locker with more force than is necessary. 

"Jesus," Niall looks exasperated. "What is with the mood swings today? Please tell me the rest of the year isn't going to be like this."

Harry fills him in on what happened. Niall doesn't seem as bothered by it as he is, but then again he might have used up all of his anger earlier that day, so. Once Harry stops talking, Niall puts both of his hands on his friend's shoulders. "Let's go eat lunch."

Harry, Louis, and Liam had tacos; Harry and Niall have cheese fries. It's the one thing the cafeteria serves that they both genuinely love, and they make it a ritual to fill their trays with it and then combine it into a gigantic monster of cheese fries. Niall has horrible gas later on, but it's worth it. Usually. The lunch lady gives them the evil eye when they pay, but they're technically not breaking any rules so she lets them ransack the only good item on the menu. Harry spots Evelyn at a table, and they both join her.

"What did Liam want with you?" she asks once they sat down. It's no secret that Louis and Harry aren't the best of friends. Whenever he runs into someone who knew them from middle school, they always comment on how shocked they were when they found out the two of them fell apart. 

"Nothing much," he answers. It's not a lie. Liam wanted nothing to do with him.

"Huh. He's looking at you right now though."

Harry is surprised his neck doesn't break at the speed he turns it to see what she's looking at. Sure enough, a couple of tables away sits the banes of Harry's existence. Even more, Liam  _is_ looking right at him. More importantly, so is Louis. The moment they see that Harry noticed them though, they avert their gaze. But it's too late. While they don't completely ignore Harry, today has been the most attention they have ever given him in years. It's exhilarating and frightening all at once, and if this is just the first day then Harry isn't sure how he's going to survive the rest of the year. 

Niall clears his throat, helpfully reminding Harry that they are not alone and other people may find his staring strange. He turns his attention back to Evelyn. "Maybe they finally noticed my stunning good looks?"

Evelyn giggles at that. Harry is pretty sure that the reason he suddenly has more friends now than he did before is that puberty treated him rather well. Yeah, it's sort of egotistical to call yourself hot, but there is no lie in the statement. He has hooked up with a lot of people at parties and has even gone on a few dates, but... Strangely enough, he hasn't really liked anyone enough to actually be in a relationship with them. It's not like he's anti-dating or anything, he's actually quite the romantic, but no one has really clicked with him. 

A few minutes pass, and Harry chances another peek at the other table. And sure enough, the two guys are looking over at him again. What's going on? Has he grown an invisible arm and the two of them are the only ones who can see it? He pats his sides just in case, and unsurprisingly he does not discover an extra limb. Louis and Liam are whispering to each other now, and it kind of looks like they're having a rather heated argument over something. Over him. It's just a hunch, but he's almost certain that he is the topic of their conversation. And Liam's actions early now make a little more sense with this context. They have most likely been talking about Harry since earlier, and who knows how much longer? It's kind of nice, knowing that he still impacts their lives in some way, but they're also probably talking shit which is less nice. 

He groans. He should have just gone to the private school when he had the chance.

The rest of the day passes by without incident, although Harry is extremely paranoid that he's being watched the whole time. He keeps casting glances over his shoulder which only causes Niall to hum Rockwell's Somebody's Watching Me under his breath. When the final bell sounds out, Harry waves bye to his friends and heads to his job. He regrets agreeing to a shift immediately after school; today exhausted him, way more than he ever thought it would, and all he wants to do is crawl into bed and Skype his sister. Instead, he gets into his jeep (which used to belong to Gemma until she moved onto vehicles bigger and better) and drives across town to the little thrift shop he calls home.

It's a fairly popular shopping spot, as buying used clothing suddenly became cool for some reason, so he isn't too surprised when he sees a couple of people browsing through the rack. Nancy, his coworker of half a year who is also a great kisser, is drumming her fingers against the cash register. That's a kind of annoying habit of hers, but Harry lets her get away with it because she doesn't tell him off for his gum chewing. For a few weeks Harry thought that he wouldn't mind dating her, but he lost interest for a reason he can't really pinpoint and then she got a boyfriend, so. That's the end of that.

It's a fairly routine shift, although he notices quite a lot of kids from the private high school keep showing up. From where the shop is located, they're like five minutes away by car from it, so that's not too out of the ordinary. What he doesn't expect, though, is for Gillian to come inside. See, he hasn't seen Gillian since he stopped going to the taco stand after Louis unceremoniously dumped him. And Gillian—well, he grew up  _very_ well. He has a strong jawline and muscled arms, and Harry unconsciously wipes his mouth in case he may be drooling. He doesn't fail to notice that Nancy does a similar action. But after the swell of attraction dies down, one of panic sets in. Even though he never really saw this guy that often in retrospect, Gillian was a pivotal point in his past. He represented all those days Harry spent with his ex-best friend, and after what happened today in school, Harry isn't sure if he wants to deal with this. Does he know that he's no longer friends with the two of them? He has to. Louis and Liam continued eating there, Harry has seen them when passing by. He's not in the mood for awkward questioning. Maybe Gillian won't recognize him.

He recognizes him.

"Oh!" he says when his eyes land on Harry. "Wow. You're that kid who used to hang out with Lou."

And, okay. That is an overly familiar way to address Louis considering that the only thing they called each other before was different variations of the word penis. Harry squints slightly at him, but then again, who knows what happened in four years? Just because you hate someone in middle school doesn't mean things will stay that way later on. So, Harry just shrugs. "I guess. It's been a while."

Gillian lets his eyes wander down Harry's frame, and he is definitely checking him out. Harry's cheeks pinken, and he hears Nancy let out a groan before walking away from the two of them. Whatever, she has a boyfriend, she can let Harry have this. Once she's gone, Gillian leans against the counter top. "You go to Hunter High, right?"

Harry nods his head. "Yeah. Junior year."

"Cool. I'm transferring there next month. Would have been this week, but something came up."

He's doing what now? See, Gillian had always been one of those private school snobs. The type that would look down on anyone who doesn't pay thousands for an education you could get for free. Which is partly why Harry had always been so confused about him working at that place, since it's sort of the last job he would have expected the guy to have. Actually, he wonders if it'll be polite to ask now. Probably not. He asks anyway.

Gillian just laughs at the question. "I only applied cause I lost a bet, had to work there for at least a week. And then I just... ended up liking it, so I stayed."

Harry hums in answer. Today has been full of a lot of unexpected revelations apparently. Gillian buys a sweater and then leaves shortly after, and Harry spends the rest of his shift obnoxiously chewing on gum.

* * *

There is nothing too indistinguishable about the start of that summer. Like all the others that fell before it, it mainly consists of Harry, Louis, and Liam making a mess and then insincerely apologizing for it. Still, Harry loves it. He loves sleeping in until noon and then biking over to Louis' house where they play video games and eat freshly baked cookies that his mom pulled out of the oven just for them. They go skateboarding in the park (they're all horrible at it) and do illegal cannonballs at the public pool until they get kicked out by underpaid lifeguards. It's the same as it always is and Harry is just so in love with summer that he would happily repeat it for the rest of his life.

The only real difference is the upcoming California trip. Harry and Louis always wait until Liam isn't around to plan their adventures, because even though he's going on his own trip they still feel guilty. But like, even though Harry would have loved for his other best friend to go with them, there's something about it being just him and Louis that excites him. Ignoring that his mom and step-dad and sister are going to be there, too, anyway. They don't even know anything about San Diego, really, but they still plan it out as if they've been there a thousand times. Louis wants to go surfing, which they totally won't be allowed to do, but Harry agrees anyway. They wonder if they'll see anyone famous until Gemma interrupts and says that's in Los Angeles. They ignore her. 

They're both curled under the covers of Harry's bed one night, giggling as they snack on chips that they snuck out of the kitchen. They decided to stay up all night, although it's only two in the morning now and Harry's eyelids are drooping. But if Louis is still awake, then he'll stay up. Louis has been acting sort of strangely all night; he still makes jokes and randomly bursts into Backstreet Boys lyrics, but then he'll immediately quiet down and just stare at a wall for a few minutes until Harry shakes him out of it. It reminds Harry of when they first met.

See, Louis had to decide to become the class clown in elementary school because he, obviously, was not beforehand. Louis moved to their town about a month after his second grade year began from a city about an hour away, for reasons that involved a messy divorce that completely uprooted his family. He didn't talk to anyone, but it wasn't like he was mute. He smiled and laughed when someone told a joke, but he'd always stand by himself instead of joining his classmates. Since Harry was still just a first grader then, he didn't know if Louis was always like that, but they shared a recess period. And Louis always did things by himself, whether it was shooting hoops or just quietly sitting at a picnic table. If someone went over to him, he would chat with them for a bit until they went away.

Harry was fascinated by him. He would spend all of recess just watching him, much to the dismay of his friends who just wanted to play tag and not stalk slightly older schoolmates. He thought of ways to ask Louis to come play with him, but considering that the boy always said no to everyone else, Harry didn't think his offer would be accepted either. So he would just hang around whoever is playing closest to Louis at any given moment, and it should have been obvious then that Harry's future would be wrapped around this boy, really. 

And then, one day when Harry was tripping over his own feet during a disastrous attempt at playing jump rope, Louis walked over to him. He wordlessly held his hand out, and Harry sheepishly handed over the rope. The rest of recess was spent by Louis teaching Harry how to properly do it, and even though he never got the hang of it—he still doesn't have the hang of it—that didn't matter. Because after that, they're joined at the hip. After that, Louis is loud.

But not always. There are times when he creeps back into that silence, and Harry thinks this is his actual default setting. Everything else—the bossiness, the dramatics, _everything_ —is just the first layer of him, the shallowest end. It's not an act or anything; Louis does genuinely love having the attention on him and he is overly rude at times. People just assume that's all there is to him though. The funny guy. And while he does let people like Liam and his family see this other side of him, Harry knows that he's the only person who knows the extent of it. Harry is, without a doubt, the only person who can truly say he knows who Louis Tomlinson is.

He reaches over and rubs his hand against Louis' arm. "What's wrong?"

The older teen smiles, a slight one that would barely register as a smile to anyone else but Harry. "This is going to sound stupid, but... I'm kind of scared? I've never been on a plane before. I never thought I would get to go on a plane, like, ever. And you're giving me that chance."

It's dark under the comforter, but Harry can picture the exact shade of blue that is staring at him so intently now. His stomach is doing backflips and he's glad that there aren't lights on, because his face is probably red as hell. He doesn't think he has even been prouder of himself than at that moment, knowing that he made Louis so happy by doing this for him. "It wouldn't be half as fun without you, Lou."

Louis' radiant smile is the last thing Harry sees before he drifts into sleep.

The next morning, they go shopping with Harry's family. They're buying things for California at the mall, and Liam's with them since he needs clothes for his trip too. They're rowdy as always, much to Anne's dismay but when she chides them it's with a teasing edge. She and Gemma split from the boys after a while because Gemma refuses to look at swimsuits with her little brother in tow (even though Harry knows that she's just going to show it all to him at home later and ask for his opinion then).  On their own, the boys wander from store to store, talking about both nothing and everything all at once in that obnoxious way that young teenage boys tend to do.

They're in a changing room, Liam and Louis in separate stalls while Harry sits on a chair, waiting for them. Louis and Liam are talking to each other, something about soccer but Harry doesn't know enough about the sport to really follow along. He just laughs when something that Liam says causes Louis to let out an indignant squawk. Louis is the one who steps out first and he gestures for Harry to come inside with him. It's not the first time they've been in a changing stall together, but one of the employees was pretty adamant that they didn't share one when he and Liam tries entering the same one. Harry looks around to make sure that worker isn't around and darts inside.

Louis shifts awkwardly, clearly embarrassed. He kicks at a piece of lint on the ground. "This shirt I tried on is too tight. Help?"

And that's odd, because Louis wouldn't normally be shy about something like this. Harry doesn't think about it though, and he immediately shortens the distance between them. Louis lifts his arms up, and Harry tugs the shirt over his head. His friend's hair is completely disheveled by the time it's off, and Harry laughs at the sight of his bangs flying in different directions. But Louis isn't laughing; he's staring at his shoes, and Harry's reminded of how quiet he had been the night before.

"Are you still scared?" Harry whispers, not wanting Liam to hear. He takes a step closer.

Louis' eyes widen almost comically, like he has no idea what Harry is talking about, but his features relax immediately after. "A bit. But it'll be fun, yeah? Me and you."

They're even closer now, and Harry isn't sure if he had taken another step forward or if it was Louis. He's not staring at the floor anymore, his eyes are boring into Harry's, and it's like he's trying to tell him something but Harry doesn't have a clue what it is. For once, he does not understand what Louis is trying to tell him, and that's so frustrating he moves away. Louis blinks in surprise, but he's smiling wildly now and whatever moment that was, it's gone.

"Let's go see how Payno's doing," Louis says with a wicked glint in his eyes, and he promptly climbs over the wall separating them and falls on Liam's head.

* * *

At the end of the second day of school, Louis Tomlinson is at Harry's locker.

When Harry first spots him, he immediately thinks that he went the wrong way and almost turns around. But no. This is the right hall and that is the right locker. It just so happens that Louis is right in front of it with his back pressed against the metal, looking as impatient as he always does when someone is taking too long. That's ridiculous, though, since it implies that he's waiting for Harry. That can't be right. He might be waiting for someone that he knows who just so happens to be Harry's neighbor. That is much more plausible. He almost just leaves then, but he left his car keys inside and he really can't leave without them. So Harry takes a deep breath and walks to what will most likely be a horrible confrontation.

"'Scuse me," Harry mumbles when he reaches the locker, staring at Louis' right ear rather than directly at his face. "I need to get in there."

But Louis doesn't move. He's frowning deeply, almost like he's insulted by Harry's very presence, but he doesn't say anything mean either. He just stays there, against the locker, for what feels like an hour until he finally speaks. "Are you doing anything after school?

"What?"

"I said," Louis pronounces each word slowly, as if Harry wouldn't comprehend otherwise. "Are you free today? I want to come over."

"Come over where?"

He actually bangs his head against the locker in annoyance. "Your house, you idiot. You are driving us to your house right now. So let's go."

He moves away from the locker, his body angled towards the exit down the hall. Harry should say no. Who the fuck does Louis think he is? He abandoned him and then made his life miserable for four whole years, and now he's actually inviting himself to Harry's house as if nothing happened? Who does that? He wants to scream. He wants to shove Louis and hit him, and let him know just how much he hurt him. But of course he doesn't. Harry can never harm Louis, even in his imagination, so he dutifully gets his keys out of his locker and leads the way to Harry's car. Louis follows behind him, a good two feet between them as if he doesn't want people to know that they're actually walking together. They pass by Zayn and in the two seconds it takes to walk away from him, Harry is positive the two boys have an entire conversation between them with just their faces. Harry used to be able to do that with Louis. He walks even faster and Louis has to practically jog to keep up, which brings a twisted delight to Harry.

When they're both buckled inside the jeep, Harry takes a moment to marvel at the situation. When they were younger, they would always talk about how they would drive each other around once they were old enough to have cars. And look at that, it's finally actually happening. Harry chuckles darkly at the thought, which makes Louis raise his eyebrow in question at him. He doesn't want to explain what's so funny, that _they're_ the joke and Harry's just waiting for the punchline, so he shifts the gear stick to drive and leaves the school campus. The drive to his house is extremely uncomfortable and Harry keeps one hand on the door handle in case he needs to fling himself out of the vehicle. Thankfully, that does not happen and he parks in his driveway without making it into that night's news.  _Breaking news: Sixteen year old causes major traffic incident while attempting to escape an awkward situation with his ex-best friend. More at eleven._

His mother's car is there though, and that gives him a pause. When Louis left him, he also left Harry's family. And they  _loved_ Louis, especially Anne; she treated him like a second son. He should have checked to see if she was home before he showed up. He isn't exactly sure what her reaction will be when she sees the guy.  A part of Harry kind of hopes that she'll refuse to let him inside. He's sort of praying for that to happen, actually, but when they enter the house she is nowhere in sight. She might be out back or upstairs then.

While Louis appeared to be pretty nonchalant about the whole affair until that point, once they're inside he's... well, fidgety. His eyes dart around the living room, taking in the surroundings that were once so familiar to him. Harry can see where his eyes rest—the big screen TV he and Gemma got for their mom last Christmas, the couch with the orange juice stain that never really went away, the new and old picture frames that hang on the wall. Harry wonders what Louis is thinking about when he takes all of this in. Nostalgia? Regret? Maybe he doesn't feel anything.

"Nice lamp," Louis says flatly, pointing at a hideous green thing that Harry got from his job. He bought it as a joke present along with the television, but Anne insisted on treating it as if it were as legitimate a gift as the other.

"Thank you," Harry replies, suddenly forgetting every rule of conversation ever. "Uh. Do you want anything to drink?"

Ridiculous. In the past, Louis would have marched right to the fridge and taken whatever he wanted. Harry has always been aware of the distance between them, but he thinks he may have even underestimated it until right now. It isn't until he has Louis in his home again that he realizes just how far away from each other they really are. He almost wants to cry.

Louis shrugs. "Not really. Can we go to your room?"

Harry doesn't answer, but he crosses the living room to the stairs and starts climbing them. He doesn't check, but he can hear footsteps following him and this time he knows that they belong to Louis. When they pass by his mom's room he stalls a little by her door, but he doesn't hear any noise coming from inside. Knowing that there is now nothing to intercept the inevitable, he opens his door and welcomes Louis into his room for the first time in what feels like forever.

They both just stand inside the room awkwardly, looking at anything except each other. Directly, anyway. Harry casts frequent glances over at the other boy. This is the longest they have been in each other's presence in a while, and Harry can finally really take in all the changes. When they were still friends, they were more or less the same height although Louis was slightly taller. Now, Harry has a couple of inches on him, just enough so that Louis has to actually look up to see his face fully. It's sort of thrilling. There's product in his hair too; before Louis always wore it down, with his bangs covering his face. His clothes aren't as bright as they used to be; no more red pants and loud colors. It's all strange.

Louis clears his throat. "So. You're probably wondering why I invited myself over like this."

"Uh. Yeah, kinda?" What an understatement. Well, Harry doesn't have to make this easy for him, so he sits down on his bed and crosses his ankles together. Louis stays where he is.

"Look," he begins, "I'm not here by choice. If I could have gone to anyone else I would have, but you're the only one who can help me with this. I need you, Harry."

Louis needs him.

Louis needs Harry.

Louis Tomlinson needs Harry styles.

The words echo across the room, and he's expecting to wake up any minute now. He has dreamed about this moment, when Louis realizes the errors of his ways and comes back to him, and the—wait. He just said it as if Harry is his last choice, right? There isn't any reason to be happy about that. In fact, Louis basically just admitted that he's only here because he plans on using Harry in some way. "Why don't you ask Zayn or Liam to help you?"

The older teen rolls his eyes. "I just said you're the only one, didn't I? They both have girlfriends."

What does that have to do with anything? "What does that have to do with anything?"

He looks flat out annoyed now, like he can't believe that Harry is this stupid. That's not fair though. How is Harry just supposed to know what Louis wants from him? They're not kids anymore, they're no longer wrapped around each other like they used to be. All of this is just so, so unfair.

"I can't date someone who is currently in a relationship, can I?" Louis says, and Harry gapes.

Louis wants to... date Harry?

For one inexplicable moment, Harry is happy. Overjoyed at the thought that Louis may want to date him and he doesn't understand his own reaction. Except he's not actually asking to date him for real, is he? From the very little he explained, it sounds like whatever this is, it's just to help Louis out with something. Harry grits his teeth; the other boy is just making a fool out of him again.

"Get out," he mutters, his cheeks burning from embarrassment. "Please just leave."

Louis doesn't react right away, as if he isn't sure he heard Harry properly. A beat passes, though, and Louis looks absolutely enraged. "The fuck? God, this is just so typical of you. I can't believe you're going to kick me out after everything you've done—"

"Everything  _I've_ done?" Harry is shouting now. He leaps from the bed and is in Louis' face, and maybe he was wrong about never being able to hurt Louis because he is very close to punching him right now. "You're the one who—"

The door bursts open and they both instantly shut up. Anne is staring at them, wide-eye and covered in dirt; she was probably working in her garden then. For a second it looks like she's about to chastise Harry for yelling at his guest, but then she sees who the guest is and, lord, the expression of shock on her face is probably similar to the one Mary had when Jesus started walking around on the third day.Anger flashes in her eyes, and Harry is actually fearful that his mom is about to beat up a high school kid, but then she takes a deep breath and anything resembling that fury is gone. "Harry, need I remind you that you aren't the only one who lives here?"

He shakes his head. He hates disappointing his mom, and he internally damns himself for not warning her that he was bringing Louis over. "Sorry."

She nods once and turns her attention to Louis. There's a moment, he thinks, when he sees her gaze soften and she almost looks relieved to see him, but then it's replaced by that stern expression that mothers get when they're about to punish kids. "And you... It's good to see you again, Louis. But I still don't allow fighting in my house, so please quiet down."

Louis' face is completely flushed and shrugs his shoulders slightly. "Right. Sorry, ma'am."

"Anne, darling," she replies, her voice tinted with a sad edge. "Call me Anne like you used to. You can stay for dinner, if you want. We're having spaghetti."

Louis nods, although what he's agreeing to, Harry isn't entirely sure. His mom gives him a look though, and he knows that she's going to be expecting some answers about this later. That will be hard considering he doesn't have any for himself. And then she's gone, and it's just the two of them again, and all the fight Harry had in him had leaked out and he's just so tired. Louis actually looks panicked.

"I should go," he squeaks, turning to the door. "This was a mistake."

"No," Harry grabs his arm. This is the first time he has touched Louis in—a long time, basically, he has to stop focusing on this time stuff. "Louis, please tell me what you wanted. Like, actually explain it all properly. I want to know what's going on."

Louis doesn't move from his position, and Harry wonders if he fell asleep standing up or something, but then he's suddenly turning around and walking to the bed, dragging Harry along with him. He plops right down, as if he owns it, and pats the space next to him. Harry tentatively settles down, a good foot in between them. They're silent for a moment, and it's that side of Louis that he doesn't let just anyone see. Or maybe he does now, Harry has no way of knowing otherwise.

"I need to make someone jealous," Louis explains after they've both grown beards and retired. "I dated this person on and off over the last two years and... I thought he was great. Wonderful. Fuck, perfect, even. Except he turned out to be a gigantic fucker who was apparently cheating on me the whole time? And he just told me that he's transferring to our school soon for whatever the fuck reason. And he said it like, like he  _knows_ it's going to completely fuck with me, yeah? Because it's not like I'm out or anything. There's only like five people at school who know. And I was just so stunned at the news that he's going to be at my school I just sort of blurted out that I have a boyfriend. I don't have a boyfriend! I need you to be my boyfriend."

There are a lot of things that sends Harry into shock, but the major one is the fact that Louis is gay. Harry didn't know this. Harry never even considered this. And he almost laughs right then because he used to be so certain he knew everything about Louis when apparently he knew nothing at all. And now he's just telling him this? Why is he trusting Harry with this secret when they're not even friends anymore? Then again, everyone knows that he's bi. It's difficult to hide your orientation when you're making out with anyone who offers at a party, so. Maybe Louis is going to him because of that then? He's convenient. Just another dude who likes guys, and he can't go to his actual friends for help because they're already dating someone.

He wants to tell him no. He wants to shut the door on Louis' face, just like when the reverse happened before. But while he was talking, Harry just _knew_ he wouldn't refuse him. Harry has never been able to say no to Louis before, and even now he knows that hasn't changed. He's so pathetic.

"Okay," he says. "I'll do it."

Louis' jaw drops in shock. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. I—I still don't understand some things, but. I'll do it? If you don't have anyone else to go to, I mean."

"I don't," Louis says a little too quickly. "Okay. We don't really have to do anything coupley at school, right? Like no kissing and shit. Since... yeah. But we should start hanging out together in public, so like, when Gillian shows up it won't seem too weird when people see us together. If anyone asks we can say we made up during the summer. And, okay. But we should go on dates? Go to the mall and movies together. And parties. Gillian loves parties."

"Wait. Gillian?"

"Um," Louis laughs awkwardly. "Yeah? He's my ex. The taco guy."

Harry takes back what he said about him being hot.

"I can't believe you dated the taco guy," he groans, flopping down on his bed so he's lying on his back. "You two hated each other!"

He just shrugs. "That was before he got the six pack, babe."

They both laugh, loud and echoing, just like they used to. And for a glorious second Harry thinks that this is it, they are going to be friends again and everything will be the way that it should be. Louis quickly sobers up, though, and the smile drops from his face as if he was caught doing something embarrassing. So... maybe they won't be friends and this is just going to be like a sort of business transaction then. Okay. Harry can do that, probably. If it means he can be with Lou again, he doesn't totally mind being used.

That's a gigantic lie, of course, he completely minds and he means to sob about it later. He refuses to show weakness in front of Louis though. Even if he doesn't mean for them to become friends again after this, this is probably the only chance Harry will ever get to find out what exactly happened before. It's clear that Louis is under the impression that Harry did something to him, but... he didn't. From Harry's perspective, Louis just randomly decided he didn't want to be friends anymore and skipped merrily away. The question is on his lips, begging to be let out into the open, but right now Louis kind of reminds him of a cornered animal. If Harry says the wrong thing, he'd just take back his request and run away, slamming the door to reconciliation shut for good. Harry can wait. He can see where this deal takes them, and when the time feels right, he will finally get the answers he should have gotten ages ago. 

"Um," Harry raises a hand like he's waiting for a teacher to call on him. "This means we'll be hanging out with each other's friends, right? You'll meet Niall, and I'll—"

Louis is suddenly very interested in his fingernails. "Yeah. I already told the others about the plan. If you don't mind, you guys can sit with us at lunch tomorrow? I'll introduce you to Zayn and you can catch up with, um. Liam."

"Cool," Harry says, desperately hoping that his expression is passive because his insides are exploding. He literally knows nothing about Zayn except that he is impossibly attractive and that he and Louis became friends shortly before the cataclysm occurred. At first, Harry actually thought it was  _his_ fault that Louis left him, like Zayn was some sort of evil mastermind twirling an invisible mustache. But Liam, back when he was still friends with Harry and was just as clueless on what caused the sudden change in Louis, always assured him that whatever the reason was, it had nothing to do with Zayn. And after Harry actually enrolled in the same school as them, he believed it. Whenever he sees Zayn the boy is never hostile. He just gives Harry a sort of look like he doesn't quite understand him but genuinely wants to, and Harry wonders if they would have been friends if he hadn't met Louis first.

But Liam is the real selling point here. Now Harry knows why he was acting so strangely yesterday; he was probably concerned about Louis' plan. Did he agree with him? Or did he think this is a bad idea and that it was best to leave Harry alone. He doesn't know how they would get along with Niall, or if Niall would even want to participate all of this. The blond only knows the bad things, as he never got to experience the wonders that these boys can provide, so it may be difficult to persuade him to play along. But if it's for Harry, Niall will do it even if it's unwillingly. It just may take some bribing to convince him.

He isn't sure how to prolong this conversation any longer. Louis looks like he's ready to leave any second; he's probably trying to think up a believable excuse as to why he has to reject the dinner invitation that Anne gave him. Harry isn't ready for him to go yet though. If Louis leaves then there's nothing to prove to Harry that this actually happened. There will be no guarantee that once he steps out that door, that it won't be the last time all over again. 

"Do you want to stay?" he blurts out. "You like spaghetti. Right?"

"I still like it, yeah," Louis replies softly. "But I should probably get going."

"If," Harry begins, testing out each syllable before letting them out into the air, "we're going to do it, it'll make sense if we spend some time with each other's families. To make it more believable."

There is one thing that Harry is certain hasn't changed about Louis, and that is his devotion to family. He isn't surprised when all the fight seeps out of Louis' shoulders, and he just nods his head once in defeat. And together, they both head downstairs to help his mom prepare the meal. It feels like a beginning, like something hopeful and new, and Harry squeezes his fingers over it and prays that this moment won't escape him.  He prays that Louis won't escape him.

* * *

It's seven AM and the Styles family, along with Louis, are sitting on a plane. The two boys have a row all to themselves and Harry lets Louis get the window seat since it's his first flight, and the boy's face is pressed completely against it. Harry tries not to think of all the germs that are on the plexiglass, not wanting his disgust to ruin the moment. When the plane starts moving, Louis clutches to Harry's arm in excitement. Or fear. Harry doesn't know which, but he moves so that they're holding hands instead and squeezes.

Soon the plane is in the air and it's rising hundreds and hundreds of feet per minute, and the entire time Louis' face does not leave the window. Harry desperately wants to see his expression, to know what exactly is going through the mind of this boy right now. It isn't until they reached their final height that Louis turns to him, a smile brighter than the sun that's so much closer to them than usual on his face, and Harry lets out a breath he wasn't aware he had been holding. It's a long five hour flight and normally Harry gets bored after the first thirty minutes while on planes, but he doesn't think it'll be the same this time. Hand in hand with his best friend in the world, they float on to California.

They're off to marvelous things.


	2. the plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why did Harry agree to this again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello friends!! anyway, just a quick note that there is a homophobic slur in this chapter. also this was originally gonna be four chapters in length, but after looking through it all i realized i was going to have to write a lot more than what i originally anticipated, so. i don't expect it to be over ten, but it's definitely going to be more than four. i'll probably give a more accurate estimate next update.
> 
> also super special thanks to [nel](http://pablohoney.co.vu/) for being lovely and reading it over for me, you are the greatest!! xoxo

"Are you sure about this?" Niall asks for the hundredth time that day. They have just obtained their ridiculous amount of chili fries and are staring at the sea of students laughing at lunch tables. Harry can see Louis and his friends at their usual spot and all he wants to do is run away screaming. Today has been surreal as fuck.

At the start of the day, before the bell rang, Louis casually walked up to his locker and went on a four minute rant about his asshole of a history teacher. As if they do that all the time together. He smiled with his teeth and playfully bumped his hip against Harry's, and it was all Harry could do to not openly pinch himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. Then at gym, Liam actually sat with him on the bleachers and even claimed a locker right next to his. He wasn't as friendly as Louis had been though; he would just quietly make commentary about the class and when the bell signaled the end of the period, he went off to find Sophia. So, Liam may not be that on board with this plan as Louis initially made Harry to believe, but that's okay since neither is Niall. He has spent every ten minutes since Harry told him what happened yesterday coming up with crazy ideas as to what Louis is actually up to. At one point he even brought up an alien theory. Harry is ashamed to say that he may have actually believed that one for a few seconds.

He nods his head, although in reality he wants to shake it the other way because he is not ready. The thing about school is that you can say hi to whomever in the halls, and sit with someone in class for the whole semester, but that doesn't make them an actual friend. You're just being polite or have no one else to sit with. But who you sit with during lunch, one of the very few times where you're free to do whatever you want for the most part… if Harry sits with Louis then, it'll be kind of like it's official. That they're actually friends again. Or that's what it'll seem like to everyone else.

They make their way over, and each step that takes Harry closer to Louis also brings him closer to another panic attack. He's waiting for some sort of punch line to this. What if, when they reach the table, Louis is going to act as if they did not make any sort of deal and turn him away, humiliating him in public. You know, again. What if this is just some huge joke that he came up with out of boredom and hatred of Harry. He almost turns around and flees back to his usual table, but it's too late. They're there, standing nervously in front of Louis and his friends.

The table consists of him, Liam, Zayn, Sophia, and a few other people that he is vaguely aware exist. He doesn't see Zayn's girlfriend, or who he thinks is his girlfriend from the few times he has seen Zayn outside of school, anywhere, but there are a couple of other girls around. They might be Sophia's friends since Harry hasn't really seen any of them around the other boys before. And it's kind of creepy how Harry recognizes who frequently hangs out with his ex-best friend, isn't it? Neither he nor Niall sit down when they stop walking, and opt instead to just stare uncomfortably at everyone.

"Um, hi?" Harry says, hoping that that the smile on his face is even a tiny bit convincing. Sophia frowns then, and Harry realizes she doesn't know what's going on but she has most likely heard bad things about him. Liam does a little wave, although his shoulders are tense, and Zayn actually says hi back, bless him. Louis though. Louis stands and claps a hand to Harry's back, the grin on his face so wide it hurts to look at. Harry used to live for those smiles, but he knows this one is fake. It's the smile he always used while trying to fool someone into thinking that he isn't about to break something expensive.

"My boy," Louis gestures at an open seat next to him. "Glad you could make it, I was afraid you were going to chicken out. Nialler, don't just stand there looking constipated, sit down."

Both Harry and Niall turn to look at each other, Harry gaping slightly and Niall with an eyebrow raised in amusement. Did Louis just give Niall a nickname after knowing him for a total of three seconds? They do take the offered seats though, Harry next to Louis and one of the girls and Niall between Zayn and Liam. He doesn't like the fact that they've been separated, and he can't shake the feeling that it was done on purpose. Did Louis really think this through so thoroughly he even kept seating in mind? Or maybe he's just overthinking it. If they are going to pretend to be friends, then it shouldn't matter where they sit, right? If Niall and Harry just stuck to each other the entire time without really interacting with the others then that may be suspicious.

"Wait," Harry suddenly blurts out, "our fries."

Everyone else in the table shoots him an odd look, but Niall's eyes widen. How are they supposed to put all of their deliciousness together if they are sitting so far apart? If there is one tradition he refuses to be affected by this ploy, it's the cheese fries. He owes Niall that much, at least.

"Move over," Niall says and he actually nudges his way in between the now disgruntled girl and Harry. Once seated, he pours his pile of fries into Harry's and begins to munch on them. Louis looks like he's about to strangle him, which probably means that the seating  _had_ been done on purpose. The blond just shrugs though. "We always do this."

"Right," Louis' tone is clipped, but the smile is still there. "Anyway, we were talking about clubs. Are you two joining any?"

The last time Harry had tried joining a club was when he still believed he could get Louis to be his friend again, back in freshman year. He heard that Louis was on the yearbook committee, so he went to the first meeting and pretended it was a complete coincidence to have ended up at the same club as each other. Louis quit the yearbook a week later, and Harry didn't rejoin the next year. The only reason he didn't quit right away was because he felt bad to leave the other club members. He didn't even dislike it or anything; he's pretty sure that he would have really enjoyed being there. But since Louis very obviously left because of him, it kind of ruined the whole thing for him. Niall was on the baseball team all throughout freshman and sophomore year, too, but he suddenly decided he hated baseball.

"I haven't really thought about it," he replies truthfully. "What about you?"

"Yearbook," Louis says with a smirk, as if he knows what Harry was just thinking about. "I figured that since it's my last year here, I ought to make sure they don't fuck it up. Why don't you join? You were there for ninth grade, right?"

Harry's cheeks are burning in embarrassment, and he can see Niall dangerously narrowing his eyes at Louis. While Harry does not think his best friend will fight his ex-best friend right there, he isn't certain that Niall isn't above throwing a tray at him once the lunch period is over. "Um. Yeah, I was. Maybe I'll check it out."

Louis just nods. "Zayn here is one of those art students. Liam and Sophia are in the student council—it's how they met. Chloe there is in volleyball, Michelle does nothing, and Eleanor works on the yearbook, too."

"I joined right after you quit," she says, smiling genuinely at Harry. "I kept hearing stories. Everyone was so sad that you left, Harry."

"Sorry. Things just got busy in my sophomore year," he lies. He can't help but notice that Louis looks annoyed at Eleanor's words, which is pretty hilarious. If they're going to do this, Harry doesn't want it to go exactly as the other boy planned. "It was nice, from what I remember."

"Stop by whenever you can," she goes on, and maybe Harry is just imagining it but it kind of sounds like she's flirting. "I'm actually editor of the entertainment section, so I can make sure you get good stories to work on instead of boring filler."

"Tsk," Louis interrupts them. "Is this favoritism, El? How awful. I thought you were more professional than that."

Even though his tone is teasing, Louis is definitely aggravated. Perhaps he didn't want any of his friends to actually  _like_ Harry. After all, when this is all over, he probably wants them to go back to what they were doing before. And that may be a little difficult if they all get attached. Then again, knowing Louis, he has possibly prepared for that outcome as well. He isn't the type to do something as extravagant as this halfheartedly. 

Either way, she seems to have gotten the picture and lets out a little huff. She mumbles something to the girl next to her—Chloe?—and then puts on an obviously fake smile. "Whatever you say, Boo."

The table erupts into laughter and Louis' cheeks redden. Harry wishes he understood the joke. He stuffs his mouth with a bunch of cheese fries and glumly looks over at Niall, who is, surprisingly, conversing with the girl next to him. They are both pretty animated, and Niall has even shared some of the fries with her. Well, if one of them gets something good out of this mess, Harry wouldn't mind if it's Niall. The guy deserves it.

The rest of lunch passes by without much incident, although Harry notices that Louis talks directly to him more often after the Eleanor incident. He's probably making a show of marking his territory to make it more believable when they announce that they're dating. He obviously hasn't told them yet, or else Eleanor definitely would not have flirted with him then. Harry would have expected him to do it right away, actually, but maybe he's still trying to figure out if he actually wants to do this or not. This could be the trial period, figuratively speaking. Once the bell rings, they all pack up and head on over to their next classes. Between suffering through pre-cal and some suspiciously vague texts from his sister, Harry almost completely forgets about the whole Louis issue until the day is over. He and Niall are at his locker; they have plans to play video games and order pizza together.

Or they had plans.

“Boys, hold on," Louis calls out to them as he suddenly appears at their side. "You’re coming with me.”

Niall points at himself in confusion. “Me too?”

“Yes,” Louis explains, unnecessarily rolling his eyes. “Since dear Harold here saw fit to out me to you, you’re now involved with this operation. So come on, the others are waiting outside.”

Harry lets out an indignant squawk. “You told me I was allowed to tell him!”

“Only because I knew you were going to anyway,” he smoothly replies before ushering them towards the exit. “Hurry, hurry. I don’t have all day.”

Harry, offended, almost decides to say no to him. Except then he realizes he really would have told Niall all about it even if Louis hadn’t given him permission to, and okay, that would count as outing him. So he follows behind the older teen, and Niall, grumbling slightly, goes after them.

Zayn and Liam are smoking in the school parking lot even though this is definitely a no smoking zone. When they see the others approaching them, Zayn waves with his fingers and Liam stares at his shoes. Harry really wants to know why exactly Liam is so against whatever this is. Is it because he just doesn’t like Harry? Or does he not like what Louis is doing in general. Back when they were still friends, Liam had always been the slightly more serious one of their group. He still fooled around as much as they did, but if something went too far he would always voice his concern on the matter. Harry, on the other hand, would let Louis get away with it, even if he also didn’t agree. That was probably bad of him. Look where it got him.

“We’re going to Liam’s place,” Louis explains, opening the passenger seat of the car that the two guys had been leaning against. “You can meet us there. You remember how to get there, right?”

There’s another flash of anger through Harry; he had spent years of his life over at Liam’s home, of course he still remembers how to get there. It’s almost like Louis is testing him, in a way, prodding to find out just how much their friendship meant to him. It’s aggravating and depressing all at once. But he nods anyway, and leads Niall over to his jeep.

Once they’re both inside and away from the ears of the others, Niall turns to him. “He’s fucking with you, you know.”

“I know,” Harry says quietly, as if his voice will somehow travel out towards them if he speaks any louder. “But let’s just do what he says for now. He’s probably going to explain it better to us once we’re there.”

“Or he’ll dump animal blood on our heads,” Niall shrugs, and they’re quiet for the next few minutes while Harry drives.

Honestly, it makes Harry wonder if things are a lot worse than he thought. Niall isn’t the kind of guy to openly dislike someone this much. Harry had been hoping that he would soften up to the other boys after having lunch with them, but apparently just an hour spent together isn’t enough to lessen the four years of resentment that has been built.  Then again, he should be happy to have a best friend who is just so thoroughly on his side.  Everyone else sided with Louis, really, but he has Niall. And when he thinks about it like that, it’s kind of a dick move to be pining so badly for his old friends when he has this one right here with him. 

“Hey, Ni,” Harry interrupts the silence, casting a sidelong glance over to the blond. “Look, thanks for everything. You didn’t have to go along with this, but… you are. And I hope I’ve never made you think that I care about these people more than I care about you. I don’t, Niall. You’ve been the best friend I could ever ask for.”

“Stop,” Niall holds both his hands up. “You don’t have to get mushy. I know, Haz, you love me. And of course I had to do this, we’re friends. You would have done the same for me, it’s just how we are.”

Harry is practically beaming now. “Yeah.”

“Stop sign!”

“Shit!”

They manage to reach Liam’s place without causing a major traffic incident. The house has been repainted since the last time he’s been here, and the old porch swing that used to sit out front has been removed. He takes in the changes, and this is probably what Louis felt like when he was at his house yesterday.  Zayn is outside waiting for them, but the other two are nowhere to be found. Zayn nods towards the door, pocketing the phone he had been staring intently at just a moment before. “They went on ahead.”

They follow Zayn through the house, even though Harry knows exactly where all the rooms are. It’ll probably be rude if he ran in front of the guy who is technically actually friends with these people though. Zayn chats with them on the way up the stairs, asking about what teachers they have and if they’ve been thinking about college. Harry is certain now that he and Zayn could have been somewhat decent friends if he hadn’t met Louis first, and he almost wants to apologize for all the bad things he had once thought about him.

Liam is sitting at his desktop computer, swerving slightly in his chair, while Louis is sprawled across the bed. Zayn immediately goes and sits next to his feet, leaving Harry and Niall to awkwardly stand next to the door. There aren’t any other places to sit beside the bed or the floor, and if they need a quick getaway the latter isn’t a good option. The bed is not an option at all.

“Finally,” Louis grumbles, sitting up. All of the politeness he carried while at school is gone now, and the look on his face is one strictly of business. This is the Louis that Harry has gotten used to over the years. “Right. This is our first official meeting for Operation G Unit—“

“I told you that we’re not calling it that,” Zayn protests.

“—and we need to lay down some ground rules,” Louis continues, sticking his tongue out at Zayn. “The first is establishing the cover story. I kind of fucked up by not approaching you on the first day of school, but it took more effort than anticipated to convince  _some_ people to play along.”

He shoots a pointed look at Liam before going on. “We’re going to go with the story that we reconnected over the summer. And one thing led to another, and now we’re an item. The only people who know that I’m gay at school are the ones in this room. Oh, and the girls, I guess, kind of, though they're not going to know this is fake. And I kind of want to keep it that way, but we need to be prepared for that getting out."

Harry bites the inside of his cheek. "Wait, are you expecting to get outed or something while doing this?"

"I hope not," Louis shrugs. "But, like I told you, Gillian is a dick. I wouldn't be surprised if he 'accidentally' lets something slip. I have plans set up just in case that happens though, so we should be covered."

Louis sounds way too calm while talking about the possibility of being outed against his will. Harry had been, actually, and it was fucking awful; some girl he had turned down saw him flirting with a guy at Starbucks and shit hit the fan. Liam had been the one to help him through that, back when they were friends, which is another reason why he doesn't really get why the guy left him. But he can worry about that later.

“Is that all?” Niall asks, frowning. “Couldn’t you have told us this at school?”

“And risk getting overheard?” Louis snaps back. “Never. Anyway, that’s not all. I told Harry here, but we’re going to have to hang out with each other a lot more often. All of us. Out of school. I don’t do anything half-assed, Horan, and that includes fake relationships. We have to make this so realistic that our parents are going to start buying wedding gifts.”

“You’re not going to actually get married though,” Liam speaks up for the first time. “You said this won’t be going on for long.”

“Just long enough to convince the bastard that I’m over him. A few months, at most. I think the latest we can go for is winter break. We’ll figure out the reason we break up later, but we should probably go for something simple rather than dramatic. I wanted to go with an affair, but I fear the irony would be lost on the poor boy.”

Harry chews on his lower lip nervously before opening his mouth. “What if we both, like, find someone we genuinely like before break starts? Isn’t that unfair?”

“ _If_ that happens then we can break up sooner,” Louis says dismissively. “Although you don’t really seem like the dating type, so I doubt that will be much of an issue.”

Huh. Louis has been keeping tabs on Harry’s hookups, apparently. It sort of bugs him since it implies that Louis believes all the rumors that Harry is easy. He has no issues with making out with people at parties and the like, but he's only had actual sex three times. More like twice, really, because the first time was so spectacularly awful that Harry refuses to count it. However, the fact that Louis has been paying attention to him at all? That information is also new and fairly interesting, and he stores it away to prod at later on. “Okay… Um. Sorry if this is kind of forward, but why are you putting so much effort into this? The guy cheated on you, right, so why even bother?”

Zayn and Liam both look panicked at the question, and Harry realizes that is possibly a very taboo subject with them. Well, sue him, he didn’t know. Louis just blinks once, twice, and lets out a soft sigh. The indifferent look on his face is gone, and he slides off the bed.

“There is only one reason I’m telling you two this,” he starts, “and that’s because you’re still unsure about this whole thing. You’re practically ready to jump out the window the first chance you get, it's written all over your faces. Also, I am going to deny ever having said this. But… I think I loved him? Maybe? I really loved the prick, and he broke my heart. I refuse to act the victim this time though. I am going to make sure that he never tries coming back to me again, because I know the guy and that he is going to try worming his way back in somehow. And if I have to lie in process, fine. As long as I come out on top.”

An abundance of different emotions resonate through Harry after hearing those words. He already knows that Louis is basically using him for this, but that was the most blatant confirmation he has given for it. It's not like this is a new side to Louis or anything; the boy has always been manipulative, but it's always been for small things. Getting the teacher to push the deadline for a project back, worming his way out of a punishment, convincing someone to share their food with him. Louis has just always been good at making people do what he wants, and before Harry would have never even imagined that it would be used against him in this way. Yet here they are, in that very position. 

And then there's another feeling that hits Harry, one that he doesn't quite understand but it's ugly. When Louis utters the word love, a love that was directed towards Gillian, Harry's insides twists and roars and it doesn't make sense. Harry remembers how blatantly Gillian had checked him out at the thrift shop, and he regrets being pleased at the attention. How dare he do something like that when Louis is so torn about him still? If Harry dated Louis, for real dated and not this pretend shit, he would never cheat on him. He shouldn't be thinking about dating him for real though. That is territory that is not meant to be ventured on.

And then Zayn phone buzzes. He glances at the screen lazily, but the moment he sees whatever’s on it his whole body tenses. It’s odd to watch; Harry has only seen peaceful or amused expressions on Zayn, and this sort of weird seriousness doesn’t seem to suit him. Then again, he knows literally nothing about the guy, so maybe it does. 

“I gotta go,” the boy says, frowning. He casts Louis an apologetic look. “It’s, you know.”

Louis nods at the same time that Liam says, “I’ll drive you.”

“I should probably get going too,” Niall adds, glancing at Harry in a way that signifies he is trying to get them a chance to escape. 

Harry is about to agree, but Louis cuts in before he can even open his mouth. “Okay. You can go with Liam and Zayn. Harry and I are going to hang around a bit.”

There are many things that come to mind. The first is that Harry is kind of glad that Louis still treats other people’s houses as if they were his own. The second is the realization that Louis wants to be with him, alone, and that makes him not glad. There are many potential murder weapons in this very room. That alien theory is also still entirely plausible, which makes him worry about Niall as well. They could drop him off in a ditch somewhere. This whole situation is very sketchy.

Niall appears to be about to voice all of these concerns, but Liam is already ushering him out the room. Zayn’s not even there anymore, having sped off while Harry was in the middle of his internal struggle. Harry, realizing that there is no way Louis is not going to get what he wants in this situation, shoots Niall an apologetic look.

“I’ll text you,” he says, waving halfheartedly. For another second it still looks like Niall is going to protest, but he just sighs, tells Harry he better not forget to text him, and walks out after Liam. 

And then there are two.

While Harry wouldn’t say that the atmosphere wasn’t awkward before, now that it’s just him and Louis he kind of wants to die.  He is not prepared for this. He thinks back to the dinner they shared last night, and just how completely uncomfortable that had been. His mom had been as accommodating as possible, asking Louis about school and how his sisters were. But there was an unfriendly edge that laced her words at time, as if she wanted to remind Louis that they weren’t  _really_  on good terms. And then Gemma had shown up and she almost threw her car keys at him in rage.

It’s kind of why Harry had been so shocked when Louis acted so friendly all day. He expected the guy to change his mind after that, to claim that he did not want to deal with the drama that hanging around Harry again would surely cause. But that never happened, and now here they are, in a bedroom that belongs to neither of them. And Louis is just sort of staring at him, like he’s waiting for Harry to make the next move. Which is dumb, considering Louis is the one who made him stay in the first place?

“Is everything okay with Zayn?” Harry asks. That seems like a safe enough topic, and he is actually kind of concerned. You don’t act that way unless something is wrong.

“Hm?” Louis wrinkles his nose. “Oh, yeah. Nothing you have to concern yourself with. Anyway, let’s have a chat.”

He settles back down on the bed and pats the spot next to him, and Harry is impressed at how he somehow manages to make such a simple and friendly gesture so threatening. He approaches the bed like a deer would approach a wolf, wobbly kneed and frightful. He doesn’t sit right next to Louis and instead keeps a good three feet between them.  Some might say he’s being too careful, but they obviously have never pissed off Louis.

“Want to go to the movies?” he says, and that is not what Harry had been expecting.

“Uh, now?”

“No, in April,” Louis snaps. “Tonight. I want to go to the nice theater near the mall.”

“Oh. Sure. Well, nice chatting with you, I’ll see you tonight…” Harry moves to leave but Louis is grabbing onto his arm.

“You are not leaving my sight today until you’re at least kind of believable as my boyfriend,” Louis says. “If anyone saw you right now they’d think I’m holding you captive or something.”

Harry tries not to point out that is exactly what is happening right now.

“I’m not going to act like this when we’re in public,” Harry mutters. “There’s no point in pretending to be dating when there’s no one around to see it.”

“For all I know you could be a shitty actor.”

So, then why didn’t he ask a drama student to help him? Louis joined the drama club when he left the yearbook—Harry is only slightly embarrassed that he knows this information—so he should be acquainted with plenty of students who actually know how to act. Why did it have to be him? What exactly is going through Louis’ head right now?

He looks so smug, sitting with his back against a set of pillows and his eyes never leaving Harry’s face. It’s such a departure of how he appeared last night at his house, nervous and ready to bolt out the door at any second. When they were in Harry’s room, Louis held no power. But here? Here Louis is in control. Harry is the one awkwardly sitting in a place where he is no longer welcomed while Louis gets to enjoy watching the train wreck.

Harry sort of hates him.

Except he doesn’t, not truly, because how can he hate Louis Tomlinson? No matter how horribly he has been treated the last few years, he always held on tightly to the positive memories the two of them shared. This is most definitely unhealthy and Harry should probably be concerned about this level of attachment he has to someone who left him. He looks at him again. Yeah, he is still entirely too pleased with himself, but on a closer examination Harry notices other things. The dark patches under his eyes that aren’t blatant enough to make people ask about his sleep habits, but they’re there. Maybe the whole mess with Gillian has been keeping him up at night. It stresses Harry, the thought that some asshole bothers Louis this much. Louis had never been the type to let someone get under his skin. If a person really insisted on arguing with him, Louis preferred to ignore their existence just to piss them off more. Otherwise he would be openly mocking, and it would be a lie to say that he hasn’t made a few people tear up after he insulted them. It was kind of terrifying to watch it happen, but it was even worse once that behavior was directed towards Harry himself.

“I could say the same about you,” Harry snaps back. “You’re acting like I’m going to be the one who fucks it up, but you might do it instead.”

It takes Louis a couple of seconds to respond; he probably wasn’t really expecting Harry to argue back on the matter. Harry is actually a little proud of himself until suddenly Louis is right there, his face incredibly close to Harry’s. He didn’t even notice the older teen closing the distance between them, but he isn’t even sure what he would have done if he did. Louis’ breath smells a bit like strawberries, and Harry wonders what he ate that was flavored that way. He tries to think of anything that isn’t Louis being so close.

“I am not,” Louis whispers, his lips ghosting along Harry’s cheek, “going to fuck this up. And neither will you.  We are going to be the best damn couple this town has ever seen, okay?”

Two things immediately happen at this. The first is that Harry’s body reacts in a way that he will deny forever and he hopes to God that Louis did not notice how his skin instantly flushes. The second is that he nods his head, which wouldn’t normally be an issue if it isn’t for the fact that Louis is right there. And that’s how Louis ends up accidentally kissing Harry right at the corner of his mouth. It’s not like it’s a long kiss, or even a proper one, but it is still a kiss even in the most technical of senses. 

Both of them flinch from each other and it would actually be kind of funny if it wasn’t for the insufferable beating coming out of Harry’s chest. He opens his mouth to apologize, but he’s struck by a thought. If they’re going to be in a relationship, even if it’s not a real one, they are going to have to kiss, right? People who date kiss. Hell, if they really want to piss off Gillian then they are going to be expected to make out obnoxiously in front of him, probably. And, like, what Harry said earlier is true—he isn’t going to half-ass this thing when they have to do it for real. But Louis also had a point. How are they going to get  _anyone_  to think they're in a relationship, much less Gillian, if the first time they do anything is around the guy? If they aren’t used to each other when it matters, they aren’t going to be convincing. And it’s showing right now with how they can barely look each other in the eye after such a tiny brush of contact.

“I thought you said you weren’t going to fuck up,” Harry says, and he isn’t sure where the words are coming from but they are still tumbling out of his mouth anyway. “It’s okay to admit that you wanted to practice for your own benefit, Lou. I’m not going to judge.”

Harry isn’t sure if it was the challenge or the use of the old nickname that sets him off, but Louis is suddenly grabbing onto Harry’s shirt and yanking him to him. Their lips smash together, and it’s actually fairly uncomfortable but Harry isn’t going to complain considering he’s the one who issued the challenge in the first place. It’s not a sexy kiss, and it doesn’t even feel like it’s for practice either, to be honest. It’s more like Louis is trying to affirm which one of them is really in control of this situation. Every time Louis licks into his mouth and nibbles on Harry’s lower lip, it’s like he’s giving him a reminder that Louis is always,  _always_  the one who leads. And how dare Harry challenge that fact?

That’s sort of the reason he is challenging it though. Because Harry has spent practically his entire life doing everything the way Louis wanted it to be. Even when they stopped being friends, that was on Louis’ terms, not Harry’s. So, who can blame the guy for wanting to rebel against that when he is finally able to? He isn’t going to sabotage the actual plan or anything, he isn’t that mean, but like hell will he let this go totally smoothly for Louis. 

So that’s why Harry pushes Louis so that his back is against the mattress and he crowds over him.  Louis lets out a surprised squeak from underneath him, and Harry has to stop himself from laughing at the sound. Instead, he places his hands next to both sides of Louis’ head so that he’s completely trapped the boy. And he kisses him, almost hungrily, and he hopes that Louis understands the message hidden within every press of his lips. What happened, he asks, why did you leave me, why aren’t we friends anymore? But Louis never answers, he just kisses back, oblivious to the mantra that is running itself ragged in Harry’s head.

Harry finally flips himself back over and lies against the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He figures that the atmosphere is going to be unbearably awkward now after all of that, but when he chances a glance at Louis, he’s surprised to find the other boy smiling. It’s more of a smirk, actually, and he raises an eyebrow at Harry once he notices him looking.

“I don’t think we have to worry about a thing,” Louis says, and he’s flat out grinning now. “Gillian, eat your heart out.”

Harry looks back at the ceiling. He doesn’t like the way Louis smiled around that name. 

* * *

The first thing they notice about San Diego is that it’s massive. Harry isn’t a stranger to big cities; he’s been to New York City more than once as well as Chicago and Dallas. San Diego is just… different. It might be because it’s California, but Harry almost feels like he’s stumbling out of his small town for the first time. Louis, however, really is experiencing this for the first time. And he’s less excitable than Harry had expected him to be, all things considering. He sticks to Harry's side from the moment they get off the plane and when they all pile into their rented van. Even in the backseat, where there's more than enough room for them and Gemma, Louis is squeezed right against him. It's weird, since even though Louis and Harry have a tendency of always needing to be within reach of each other, Louis has never been  _this_ clingy.

Harry sort of likes it.

He quickly goes from thinking it's cute to being worried though. Maybe Louis suddenly changed his mind about going on the trip with them and he wants to go home? Homesickness can really affect people, he's heard. Harry has never felt it before, but he has also never gone on a trip somewhere without his family. And Louis is all about family. So, maybe, he regrets the decision to leave his mom and sisters. The more Harry thinks about it, the more convinced he becomes that this is the reason why he's acting strangely. And the more convinced he becomes that this is the reason why he's acting strangely, the more Harry pampers Louis.

Their hotel is right on the beach, which is great, and there are two bedrooms with a large couch that pulls into a bed in the living room. The boys, unsurprisingly, get the couch. One side of the mattress has a spring that just sort of presses into your back in a way that isn't hugely uncomfortable, but it can be annoying. Harry dutifully claims that side so that Louis will have no issue with falling asleep. When there's only one muffin left at the breakfast buffet, Harry lets Louis take it. Even though Harry wants to spend one afternoon going shopping with his parents, he stays at the hotel pool because Louis wants to lounge. He even agrees to go to SeaWorld, despite the fact that seeing the animals caged in like that makes him sad, just because Louis wanted to see dolphins. Everything is about Louis, and Harry makes damn sure it stays that way.

That is, until Louis puts a stop to it. They're sitting on the edge of Gemma's bed while she changes in the bathroom, and Louis is picking at his toenails, which is kind of gross but Harry keeps his mouth shut about it. After a few minutes of silence, the older boy looks up. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"I'm treating you the same way I always do," Harry says with a shrug. And it is kind of true, he does normally let Louis do whatever he wants for the most part.

"Yeah, but," Louis pauses, like he's trying to formulate what to say. "You usually pout more when things go my way instead of yours. I know that you really wanted that pair of sunglasses at the store earlier, but you didn't even say anything when I bought them. I didn't even  _like_ them, I just wanted to see if you were going to fight me for them."

Harry considers this information. "Can I have them then?"

"Duh, I bought them for you. But don't change the subject."

"Sorry," he replies. "It's just—you seemed sad? Maybe not,  _sad_ , I guess that's a bad word for it. You've just seemed kind of out of it and I wasn't sure if you changed your mind about wanting to be here or not. I got scared that you, like, wanted to go home, so I thought if I was good to you, you'd start having fun? Sorry."

Louis drops his gaze back down to his foot, but he's definitely blushing, and there's a sort of pleased smile on his face that Harry doesn't quite understand but he's proud that he put it there. "I'm not sad. I've just been... thinking about something. About us, I mean. And what a great friend you are for doing this for me. I love Liam and everything, he's like a brother to me. But you're like  _it_ for me, I guess. I got kind of overwhelmed by it all. I am happy, Harry. I'm so happy, and sorry that I made you think for even a minute that I wasn't."

Harry's heart swells with affection at the words. He loves Liam like a brother too, but Louis is just... He's something else. And hearing that he feels the same way about Harry is kind of what he imagines the first person who struck gold in the old west felt like. The luckiest person in the world, in the whole cosmos.  While he always knew that their relationship was something different, something special, having it verbally confirmed made this trip entirely worth it. The rest of it could be absolute shit, but this moment will redeem the entire thing, he thinks. 

He is about to open his mouth to respond except then Gemma walks in. She has spent most of the trip playing around on the beach so her tan is deeper than theirs, although it's kind of funny because there is a slight outline of her sunglasses on her face.  Harry has quickly learned not to mention said outline directly to her. She tells them to go get ready because they're going out again, and Harry moves towards the door. Louis is right behind him, and he's still so very close, and that smile is even bigger. His best friend is so happy and that's all that matters right now.

Louis still remains plastered to Harry's side after that; the only difference is that Harry no longer questions it. In fact, Louis actually manages to become even more attached to him. He links their arms together and presses slobbery kisses to Harry's cheeks, all the while laughing and shouting out the incorrect lyrics to current pop songs. They get weird looks, yeah, but Louis doesn't care which means that Harry doesn't care. And their actions make their parents smile while Gemma tries to appear annoyed. She can't hide the smile in her eyes, though, and this might just be the best vacation that has ever happened in the history of vacations.

On one of the last nights there, Harry and Louis are poking through a convenience store down the block from their hotel. Louis has somehow lost his toothbrush so they're on the hunt for a replacement. Except what should have been a five minute trip lasts about fifteen. They giggle at everything, pointing at different brands of soap while discussing the pros and cons of each type. They're talking out of their ass, of course, neither of them has bought soap in their life, but at that moment it's the most hilarious thing in the world.

"Fucking faggots. They're everywhere."

Harry purses his lips in disgust. While he thought that people in California would be more accepting, he isn't too surprised that there are still assholes around the state. He tries to figure out who's the person who threw the slur out, but there are too many people going in and out to be sure. With a sigh, he turns to Louis to say that they should probably pay for their stuff before they run into another bigot, but he's surprised to find the other boy frozen in place. There's a look of abject horror etched on his features, as if he's fighting the urge to throw up. Harry wonders if he's not feeling well and mentally goes over everything they had eaten recently that may have upset his stomach.

"Hey, Lou?" Harry gently nudges his shoulder. "You okay?"

It takes him a few seconds to snap out of... whatever that was. Louis offers him a tiny small back, but he still doesn't seem quite right. "Uh. Yeah. I'm just going to go pay for my toothbrush now."

He quickly heads to the cashier. He casts frequent glances over to Harry while he pays, and the expression on his face is just so unreadable that Harry is almost scared. Is Louis mad at him? Did he do something wrong? It doesn't hit him that Louis may have been upset about  _that_ word until they're both crowded in the hotel bathroom to get ready for bed. Harry spits toothpaste out into the sink and wipes his mouth with an arm, frowning. 

"Is this about the F word?"

Louis flinches. "Sorry. It just... took me a little by surprise, that's all."

"People are dicks," Harry says. "Don't worry about them. I just feel sad for whoever they yelled that at. They didn't deserve that."

"Um," Louis says, and it's his turn to frown. He stares at Harry for a couple of seconds before shaking his head, and Harry thinks that he mutters an  _unbelievable_  under his breath. "Yeah, me too. Night, H."

Before Harry can say anything else, Louis leaves the bathroom and crawls underneath the covers of their shared bed. And Harry, having no idea what he did wrong, follows after him like always.

* * *

Harry and Niall are immediately inaugurated into Louis' social group. They still hang out with their actual friends at school and afterwards, but they are expected to sit at  _that_ table every lunch period and every now and then they have to do things together after school ends. If Harry had known just how much this plan would seep into his everyday life, he... well, he probably still would have said yes, but he would have hesitated more at getting Niall involved. He feels guilty that his best friend is getting dragged into this mess as well, but Niall is surprisingly extremely okay with it. Too okay with it, actually. He seems to have bonded a little  _too_  well with Zayn and Liam and the girls. He's still suspicious of Louis though, at least. Whenever the older teen steps a little too close to Niall, the blond immediately narrows his eyes or steps out of the way. The small gesture pleases Harry way too much.

Now that the plan is actually in motion, Harry practically marvels at how detailed it is. They only meet up when Louis plans on being somewhere that someone Gillian knows might end up at. That trip to the movies? A friend of the redhead works there, and she had apparently reported to Gillian that she saw Louis with some boy. They all went to get ice cream at conveniently the same time Gillian's younger brother did. Where Louis is getting his info, Harry is kind of scared to find out, but he now realizes that he is going to have to step up his game.

Because eventually it’s going to go from just places that Gillian frequents to everywhere. Louis wants to convince their school that they are friends, and according to him he’s willing to say they’re dating if the situation gets desperate enough, which is why he basically forces Harry to join the yearbook. Eleanor squints at the two of them while everyone welcomes Harry back, like she’s suspicious of something. Harry kind of wishes that she’ll realize this is all a scam and will call them out, but eventually she just keeps giggling at them so. No, she has probably fallen for it. Louis seems way too smug after that.

And then there’s gym with Liam.

They always sit on the bleachers together and pair up for whatever activity the coach decides they’re doing for the day. They chat and laugh and to anyone watching, it looks like they’re actually the best of friends suffering through a dumb class together. And while Harry can no longer claim that he knows Liam Payne extremely well, he does think he has a good enough read on the guy to be able to tell this is all fake. Whenever he’s talking to Harry, it’s obvious that his mind is actually wandering elsewhere. Sometimes it takes him a little too long to respond to things, and there have been instances when Harry caught him just glaring at him. Harry already decided to wait until this arrangement is less shaky to bring up his questions, but he has almost slipped multiple times with Liam. At one point while they’re playing basketball, Harry actually asks the boy why he hates him so much. But the fire drill sounds off at the same exact time he gets the words out, so Liam never hears. Harry figures that’s the universe way of telling him to let the subject drop for now, and he just shrugs when Liam asks if he had said something.

Everything is surreal and bizarre and Harry isn’t sure if he’s happy that he’s hanging out with Louis again or if he’s miserable. They haven’t really done anything like a real couple, not since that day when they made out on Liam’s bed, and Harry understands. Louis does not want to come out unless he absolutely has to, and they only have to act intimate when they are around Gillian’s crowd. This, surprisingly, does not happen as often as Harry expected it to. He is once again wondering if this has just been some sort of elaborate joke on him when Louis delivers some news.

“We’re going to a party tonight,” he says at Harry’s locker. “They’re throwing Gillian a goodbye party, and I managed to snag myself an invite. Bring Niall if you want.”

There are a lot of things that Harry wants to say. First of all, how the hell did Louis get invited? From what Harry has heard about St. Thomas parties, they are extremely exclusive to the point that you’d think the mafia is hosting them. Second, shouldn’t he ask if Harry is actually available to go? He  _does_ have a job, after all, and he has a life beyond whatever the hell this is. Granted, he isn’t scheduled to work until Sunday and has zero plans otherwise, but that isn’t the point. He’s just pretty annoyed by the whole affair.

When he tells Niall about it, though, the blond’s face lights up in excitement and any reservations Harry had about going instantly evaporates. Because besides being hard to get into, St. Thomas parties are known to be absolutely legendary. And whenever this ends, the chances of the two of them getting access to another one of these parties is less than zero. So, why should he sacrifice his own fun just because he’s mad at Louis?

It turns out that Zayn’s girlfriend, Perrie, actually lives nearby the house it’s being held at so they all meet up there. It’s the first time Harry is meeting her, which he thinks is weird considering he’s been around Sophia plenty of times. And when he sees her house he almost falls over from shock. It’s huge, and has those fancy Roman pillars decorating the front and a gigantic fountain that is sure to raise their water bill up by a few hundred dollars. Zayn actually laughs at his reaction, and suddenly Harry wonders if the reason he has never seen Perrie at school is because she doesn’t even go to their school. And that’ll explain how they got invited. After all, the only reason Harry even knows about the girl is because it’s one of the last things that Liam mentioned to him before they stopped being friends: _Zayn started dating this girl named Perrie and Louis doesn’t like her very much._  Harry never got to find out why he didn’t like her since about three days later, Liam dropped him.

They have a few shots there and Harry is so thankful that he told his mom that he’s spending the night at Niall’s because his mom would explode if she found out he’s been drinking. By the time they begin the walk to the party, Harry is relaxed and giggly and he keeps leaning against Niall for support. Niall shouts out obscenities into the wind while Zayn, his arm wrapped around Perrie, laughs hysterically at him. Harry decides that he loves Zayn’s laugh.  He isn’t even paying attention to Louis, which is amazing because that’s usually all he ever does. It isn’t until they can actually see the house that Louis actually yanks on his arm, pulling him back to him. Harry blinks in confusion, but Louis just clasps their hands and twirls their fingers together.

“Last I checked we were the ones dating,” he whispers, squeezing Harry’s hand. “Try not to get too cozy with other guys, yeah?”

Normally, Harry would argue that Niall isn’t just another guy, he’s his best friend. But there’s something about the alcohol coursing through him and Louis’ breath against his skin that just sort of freezes all rational thinking. So he nods his head in agreement and lets Louis lead him through the front door where more shots are promptly shoved into their faces. It's kind of amazing how many liquor bottles he can see just from here, and he has to admit that it must be really nice being rich. Before he can marvel any further about class differences, he's being pulled further into the party. The music that's blasting is something that sounds German, and he kind of likes it and wants to find whoever set up the playlist for the night, although he has a feeling he won't get that chance. He tries to turn around to see where Niall has gone off to, but he's at the other side of the room being dragged away by Zayn and Perrie. Well. Harry didn't really expect to be hanging around him too much considering what the actual objective of tonight is.

Louis still has that death grip on Harry as they weave through the crowd. He’s looking for someone; his eyes keep darting from face to face, and Harry doesn’t need two guesses to figure out who he’s trying to find. If this was a normal night, one where he isn’t already half drunk, Harry would just roll his eyes at how obsessed Louis is with all of this. But Harry is an affectionate drunk. Affectionate and clingy and really jealous, so right now the emphasis isn’t really on the word  _fake_ and instead is on  _boyfriend._ Louis is his boyfriend and he isn’t paying any attention to him aside from their linked fingers.

He pries his hand free, making Louis turn to him in confusion. Before the other teen can say anything though, Harry, giggling, wraps his arms around his neck and almost drags them both down to the floor. Louis, thankfully, manages to keep them standing although he does let out a weird noise that sort of reminds Harry of the sound he made when he got pinned on the bed. The memory just makes him laugh even harder.

Louis narrows his eyes in annoyance, but there’s a sort of look on his face that makes Harry doubt that he’s actually bothered by it. Instead he just detaches Harry’s limbs from his shoulders, saying that he’ll be right back, and he’s quickly swallowed by the crowd. Harry pouts after him, feeling rejected and in need of more alcohol. This is why it’s bad for him and Niall to get separated at these things; they are both known to go a little too hard with the drinks, but the difference is that Harry is sort of a lightweight and that Niall never knows when to stop. So, they try to keep each other in check while at parties so that they won’t be sobbing over a toilet the morning after. Harry still has enough sense in him to at least be concerned about his blond friend, and he hopes that Zayn isn’t a huge partier or else things might get a little crazy.

He somehow ends up with a beer that a girl with nice legs and long eyelashes hands to him, and she had definitely been trying to flirt but Harry needs to find Lou. It’ll be bad if Gillian spots him chatting up someone who isn’t supposed to be his boyfriend, he figures, and he has no idea who here is in that group of people. In fact, he doesn’t know anyone at all. He hasn’t seen anyone he came here with since they stepped inside, although he thinks he may have heard Sophia’s laugh coming from what he thinks is the kitchen. He decides to go over there to find out.

Before he gets very far, though, a hand is grabbing onto his wrist. It’s Louis, who’s drinking something out of a red cup with his free hand, and he looks more content now. He probably found whatever—whoever—he was searching for earlier. And almost as soon as he thinks that, Harry spots him. A head of red hair that’s a little to the right of them, close to where Harry had just been heading. He’s surrounded by a lot of people, which is to be expected considering this party is for him, but Harry doesn’t get why they’re bothering with the guy. How can someone who hurt someone like Louis be so popular? Then again, why is Harry defending someone like Louis?

That train of thought stops there because Louis is turning so that his ass is right on Harry’s crotch and he starts grinding against it to the rhythm of the music. Harry knows, just knows, that this is only happening because Gillian is right there but, like, fuck it. He is more than just buzzed and the song that’s playing now is something he recognizes and likes, so fuck it. They are here to put on a show, and Louis is still his boyfriend even though there is a great big technicality stamped over that label. He starts moving against him, lifting his beer up to make sure it doesn’t accidentally spill over. At first, it doesn’t matter that it’s Louis because Harry simply likes to dance and the feeling of another warm body on him.

But then Louis turns his face so he can see him, and the grin on his face is manic and Harry hasn’t had a smile like that directed at him in years. And suddenly it matters very much that it’s Louis, and Harry isn’t sure if it’s because of all the drinks or if he just misses the boy, but he kisses him.

Louis doesn’t react at first. He’s probably shocked, which is understandable, but then he’s kissing back. It’s sloppy because of their awkward angle; Harry knows that they won’t be able to keep it going for long before their necks begin to ache. There's something about kissing Louis though that's— _something_. He has thought about it before, when he was still figuring out his sexuality, but he always assumed that was because Louis was his most important boy during a time when he was discovering he liked boys. And, yeah, his mind did stray into that territory a couple of times afterward, but he always brushed it off. Thinking someone is hot isn't the same as liking them and Louis is definitely hot. Harry just doesn't think of him like  _that._ Or he doesn't think he does, but the harder he presses his dick against Louis, the more he starts to question that. Or he might be drunker than he thought. When they break apart, Louis actually cackles, his eyes crinkling in joy. Harry’s heart leaps at the sight, but it drops right back down when Louis immediately scans the crowd to make sure Gillian was watching. He is.

“Good work,” Louis whispers to him, still moving to the music but not as seductively as he was a moment before. “Caught me by surprise, but that was great.”

Harry mumbles what he hopes is a coherent reply. He's sort of dazed and wants to keep going, to keep their bodies as close together so that they will never be apart again. But from the corner of his eye he sees the red hair moving directly towards them, and without thinking Harry wraps his arms around Louis' shoulders and pulls him to his chest. Louis almost drops his cup at the movement, but Harry barely registers it because this is it. The moment they have been waiting for is here, when their operation really starts, and he probably should have drank less because all he can actually think is that this is his boyfriend's (the part where he is not really his boyfriend is not that important right now) ex.

"Louis," Gillian grins, the word slurring on his tongue. "I thought you'd show up. And I see you found your sidekick again."

"Boyfriend," Harry says before Louis can even open his mouth. "Not a sidekick."

He can't see his face, but Harry is almost certain that Louis just rolled his eyes. "What Harry said. Sick party, by the way."

The smile on Gillian's face lessens by a fraction, and that's all the boys need to know that this is going to work. The way he looks at them is different now, it's less amused drunk and more like appraisal. His gaze lingers on all the spots that the two of them are touching, and Harry really hopes that it isn't obvious that he's watching. He tries to bury his face in the nape of Louis' neck to hide that he's watching Gillian notice all the couple signals they're throwing at him.

"Thanks," he finally replies after what feels like an eternity. He turns towards Harry. "Nice seeing you again. I was thinking about stopping by your job soon."

Louis immediately tenses. Harry had actually forgotten to mention that he ran into Gillian on the first day of school. He just didn't seem that important at the time, although now he realizes it was. Gillian was flirting with him, Harry knows this, and he wonders if he had flirted back? He might have. Not like... obviously, with words, but body language can say a lot. So if they have been dating for a while now, and Harry had supposedly flirted with Louis' ex during the time they are supposedly together then—what? Harry's mind is swimming and he can't properly think about the consequences of something he did before all of this started.

"Please do," he says back, lifting his head so he can smile at Gillian. "We're having a sale next week."

Gillian nods his head in reply, although his eyes dart towards Louis. “What’s that look for? Didn’t he tell you we saw each other?”

Louis still hasn't fully relaxed, and he's probably anxious to get Harry alone so he can question him about this mysterious meeting between the two. "Of course. Excuse me, Gil, I need to have a little chat with young Harold here..."

And just as anticipated, Louis turns around and actually shoves Harry away. They don't stop moving until they're out the front door and in front of the very large garage doors. There, Louis checks to make sure there isn't anyone within earshot of them before whirling around to face Harry. "You ran into him? Why didn't you tell me?"

Harry shrugs, taking a sip of his beer. It's gotten a little warm, and Harry wonders how long they were inside there for that to happen. It only felt like a few minutes. "I guess? It was before we started doing this."

Louis bites his lower lip. "How long before?"

"A day...?"

Louis lets out a groan, his hands flying in the air in a  _why must this happen to me_ motion. Harry thinks that Louis is being a tad overdramatic about this news, and that suddenly leaving like that would probably leave a bad impression on Gillian. But he doesn’t voice any of this, and he instead focuses on drinking his less than yummy warm beer. He hopes again that Niall is doing alright inside the party and that he hasn’t started another mosh pit again.

“You need to tell me these things,” Louis continues. “Now he obviously knows that I didn’t know that you ran into each other. Isn’t that the kind of thing boyfriends tell each other? That you saw my ex? Jesus, Harry, can’t you actually think for once?”

“Oh, fuck off,” Harry spits out. “I just didn’t think it was that important, okay? Excuse me that you suddenly inviting yourself over to my house and dropping whatever this is on me seemed bigger than seeing him for two minutes.”

Louis opens his mouth to say something, but he glances over Harry’s shoulders and Harry never finds out what he’s about to say. Because he’s suddenly launching himself at Harry, bringing their lips together for the second time that night. And it’s their third kiss, but this one takes Harry by surprise. He instigated the first and the second one had been his doing as well. This is all Louis though, the way he stands on the very tip of his toes to better reach Harry and how his hands are grasping Harry’s cheeks. This kiss is more precise than the last one, with Louis purposefully sucking on Harry’s lips and darting his tongue inside his mouth. His right hand snakes down and ends up at Harry’s crotch, which is a surprise but definitely not an unwelcomed one. Louis starts rubbing his palm in circles over Harry’s jeans and Harry moans into his mouth. He has no idea what started this, but he likes it.

“Ahem.”

Never mind, he definitely hates it. The two of them jump apart, although Louis’ seems less genuine than Harry’s surprise; he actually looks kind of smug about it all. Harry dreads turning around, is horrified at confirming what he already knows is there, but he has to. And he turns and sees Gillian staring at them with a weird expression on his face. He isn’t sure why, but there is definitely something… off about it. Like, it isn’t the look you’d expect someone would have when they’re jealous or upset. His lips are curled in what might be a smile in the most technical of senses, or maybe it’s more like a sneer. Either way, Harry just wants to be as far away from both him and Louis as possible.

“Oops,” Louis shrugs. He pats Harry’s shoulders. “Hey, babe, I’m going to get a refill. Want anything?”

Harry just shakes his head and watches as Louis navigates around Gillian and goes back into the fray. It’s just him and Gillian now, and he still has that uncomfortable expression that makes Harry’s skin crawl. He’s about to excuse himself and go inside too, but Gillian is grabbing his forearm.

“Be careful with Louis,” he says in what’s barely a whisper. “He likes leaving people, you know. So just because you’re all chummy now doesn’t mean you’ll be tomorrow. Although I guess you know that better than I do, huh?”

It occurs to Harry that Gillian probably knows the reason Louis left him all those years ago, and that realization only makes him feel worse. He isn’t sure who he dislikes more at this very moment: Gillian, who used Louis and makes Harry nervous, or Louis. Louis who did leave him, Louis who is using him, and Louis who will continue to do both these things for god knows how long. 

He’s not used to thinking bad things about the other boy. Even during the immediate aftermath of the end of their friendship, Harry’s only concern was what  _he_ had done wrong. It wasn’t until after he confided to Niall what had happened that he even began to consider that Louis might be the one at fault, and even then it isn’t something he lets himself think about very often. But ever since they started hanging out regularly again, Harry keeps wondering why did he let their relationship end the way it did? Because that’s what Louis wanted.

He excuses himself and goes back inside to find Niall. He wants to leave the party outright, but he’s been drinking and he’s pretty sure Niall has been; they planned on spending the night at Perrie’s so they wouldn’t have to worry about designated drivers. Right now, though, Harry needs to get away even if it’s only for ten minutes. It takes him awhile, but he finally tracks his friend down in the backyard. It’s massive, with what Harry thinks is an Olympic sized swimming pool and a jacuzzi that would put most to shame. There are people splashing in the pool and laughing, but Harry ignores them all in favor of his friend. It isn’t until he’s reached him that he notices who he’s with.

Liam.

Niall is in the middle of telling some kind of story, his arms are spread wide, but they drop the moment he spots Harry. He must look a wreck because the blond immediately closes the distance between them and wraps an arm around his shoulders.

“Hey,” he says, “you okay?”

Whatever he had been about to say stays lodged in Harry’s throat. He can’t tell him that Louis is what’s wrong, not when Liam is right in hearing distance. But it’s obvious that the problem is Louis. They all know it, and Harry not saying anything won’t make it any less clear.

“We saw Gillian,” he supplies instead. “It didn’t go as smoothly as we hoped.”

“I told him this isn’t going to work,” Liam mutters to himself, and he might be a little drunk as well because it’s said a lot louder than what he probably intended.

Harry shakes his head. “No, like… I’m pretty sure he believes that we’re together. It was just—weird. Really weird.”

Both Niall and Liam look as if they want to call the whole thing off, but for very different reasons. It’s strange to think that these two were probably getting along fairly well, and yet they would most likely fight each other at a moment’s notice if this plan goes south. Figuratively speaking, anyway, Harry can’t actually imagine either of them getting into a fist fight.

“How are you guys doing?” he changes the subject. He wants to talk about it, but not in front of Louis’ best friend. “I see Niall isn’t hanging off any chandeliers.”

“God, no,” Niall sighs. “I’ve been hiding from Zayn’s girlfriend all night. She’s been stealing every drink I had, I’ve barely even had a sip!”

Liam actually purses his lips at that, and Harry wonders if there’s a story there somewhere. Liam doesn’t say anything, though, so if there is one then he won’t be hearing it.

Niall still has his arm around him and Harry is snug against the warm body, the alcohol still making him feel light and slightly dizzy. He knows that they probably shouldn’t be this close to each other, that Louis would probably get annoyed if he walked by. But, like, Harry has always been super affectionate with his friends. So him suddenly not being allowed to hang off of Niall is terrible and he refuses to do it, especially right now when all the drinks is making him crave attention. Anyway, he's mad at Louis because Louis is a gigantic dick, so why should he care if this might piss him off? He doesn't care. He doesn't care about Louis Tomlinson at all.

And, of course, it is at that moment that Louis reappears. He has a new cup in his hand and there's a fake afro on his head now, and Harry wonders for a few seconds where that came from. He notices how Louis glances at the close proximity between him and Niall, but he doesn't say anything about it. Instead, he turns to Liam and grins at him. "Your girl challenged some cheerleaders to body shots in the kitchen."

"Not again," Liam groans and he excuses himself. 

Once he's gone, it's just the three of them, and Harry wishes he was more drunk because it's kind of awkward, isn't it? His old best friend and his current one. He wonders if Louis is thinking the same thing, but he never gets to find out because suddenly everyone is shrieking. He's startled, thinking that maybe something terrible had happened, but it's just that the sprinklers switched on unexpectedly. Niall cackles as he untangles himself from Harry, and he runs towards the crowd of people while yelling something that Harry can't quite make out. Harry watches him go, slightly offended that he ditched him during this very difficult time but also not that surprised. Even though Niall is extremely supportive about this all, sometimes he does not always realize when a moment is poignant. Like just now.

When he returns his gaze to Louis, he finds the other boy frowning at him. Is he still upset about the Gillian thing? Or was it how he and Niall were draped around each other? Maybe it's neither of those things, and Louis is just thinking about how much he hates Harry. That could be it, really. Literally the only thing that tonight did is make Harry regret ever agreeing to this setup. He had hope before, but now he realizes this is all a mistake. He and Louis aren't meant to be in each other's lives anymore. This just cements that, and it breaks his heart but he needs to accept it and move on. He can probably even deal with not finding out the reason this all happened. Perhaps he just isn't meant to find out.

But then Louis is leaning in, and it isn't for another showy kiss. He knocks their hips together, in that way that he used to when they were kids, although the angle is off now. Louis' hips are lower than Harry's, so it's more like he hit his upper thigh but the sentiment is still there. Harry does it back, and now they're both smiling, and Harry isn't sure if Louis is just  _that_ wasted or if they are having a genuine moment here. Maybe they do have a chance. They might not be able to be friends again, but perhaps they can at least clear out the air and turn this bad blood between them into something healthier. Harry would like that.

Maybe Louis would too. Maybe, maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can find me on [tumblr](http://larriepotter.tumblr.com/).

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on [tumblr](http://sofiamantegas.tumblr.com/).


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